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Recent Posts
- How I’m tryna not decay as fast as you are
- I can’t swirl drinks for shit
- Live AI Beard Filter Bruh
- It is OUTRAGEOUS that “intrical” is not a word
- If you’re tired in the morning – have you tried just, like, not doing that?
- Glow Paint is never as good as the photos claim
- It’s way past time to retire the “threw up in my mouth” line
- “We are all attractive” meme is nice but an unnecessary lie
- Mega Simulation Game of Life concept
- Red Lobsters’ Cheddar Bay Biscuit Maximization Ordering Guide
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Between Showers
Archive for August, 2009
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Dentist, notsobad, but iPhone suckage is
Posted on August 26, 2009 | No CommentsI am *this* close to breaking up with Brenda (my iphone). No I’m not. but god dammit Brenda. I miss BUTTONS. iPhones are impossible to navigate without looking at them, […] -
I hate you. unless you have food.
Posted on August 25, 2009 | No CommentsI’d like to think that my love for my sister is unconditional and everlasting, but it’s really entirely contingent on her bringing me food. She works at Chili’s and has […] -
I’m a zombie
Posted on August 23, 2009 | 1 CommentI’ve been exposed… I died awhile ago. Or at least that was the accusation I got in an instant message from an adoring fan who was concerned about my intentions. […] -
Drugs are awesome but paying for stuff sucks
Posted on August 19, 2009 | No CommentsDrugs are amazing, but why does everything have to cost friggin money? My tooth was throbbing out of my skull with a dull beaming discomfort after the dentist today so […] -
I don’t get it
Posted on August 19, 2009 | No CommentsWhat the shit is this supposed to mean? -
TwitterCop: exposing a jail break
Posted on August 18, 2009 | No CommentsOr should I say…Jurr break? Stick with me, it’s gonna make sense in like 5 seconds and you’re gonna totally be all “oooh, lol” n stuff. Check it out: this […] -
She REALLY wanted to know what I was doing
Posted on August 17, 2009 | No Comments3:50 PM Kaylie: babe? 3:51 PM Mr Awesome: yes? 3:52 PM Kaylie: wat you doin? 3:52 PM Mr Awesome: top secret. why 3:52 PM Kaylie: please tell me.? 3:53 PM […] -
Gravy eggs
Posted on August 13, 2009 | No CommentsMy aunt, uncle and cousin Craig from Austin are over here at my parents house for the weekend and my dad cooked breakfast containing the slop yolk garbage that results […] -
Snot Rockets: learn to accept them
Posted on August 11, 2009 | No CommentsI fully endorse and employ the use of the snot rocket, which is the action of plugging up one nostril and blowing air strongly through your nasal cavity, causing a […]