If there was any doubt that the administrators of Wentzville high school were clinically insane – the graduation procession confirmed it. Paranoia flowed freely as a major part of every aspect of the ceremony.
In our graduation preparation day we were given stern warnings of individualism and the punishment that would loom over us. We were told to be perfect sheep throughout the ceremony and warned about the inevitable slaughtering of any that stray from the herd. We were given copies of a newspaper article telling the story of a young man who served community service and I believe even paid a fine before he could get his diploma because (dun dun dunnn) he moon walked across the stage.
Reasonable rules were taken to levels so diculous they were REdiculous. -For instance, you may not wear sun glasses during the ceremony. This is not an outrageous rule – It was inside, no harsh light, if someone trips and brakes their face because of their reduced visibility there would be legal issues and so on. HOW-EV-ER, My yellow “happy” glasses were confiscated before I was to walk; for what reason, I have no idea. Apparently the administration was afraid of secret laser beams hidden in the lenses and thought they were pretty smooth in foiling my plan. They also made sure I didn’t blow up the building with my secret bomb I had cleverly disguised as a working Advantix camera as that too was taken from me as I was frisked by several officials before I walked.
I was trying to make a goofy face, but I guess the joke’s on me since I didn’t quite want it that exact brand of goofy. oh well. At least I was able to keep my glasses and name tag in the shot.
Weeks later I attended my cousins college graduation from USSD and witnessed the exact opposite of my Wentzville graduation setup. -Grads were encouraged to be unique and make the ceremony theirs as much as they could. I saw stuffed animals on the grad hats, pins, necklaces, signs – anything imaginable attached to the gowns. One creative gentleman in particular had a helium balloon attached to the button thing on the top of his cap. -Two beach balls were being batted around the graduate seating area to help pass the time while the endless speaking and formalities went on. -No one was bored to tears. The guest speaker was the real Patch Adams (from the Robin Williams “funny doctor” movie) who gave everyone “the end” as he called it when he mooned the audience at the end of his speech. I of course smiled and clapped as I recalled that poor student who was chastised for moon walking, when here, at a prestigious college, the guest speaker is mooning the crowds. -What lunacy we have in this world.
-No one was fined, arrested or pulled out of the ceremony.
ON THE BRIGHT SIDE….
Grad Nite was enjoyable. Swimming gave birth to the Minnoe, I was the undefeated champion in the blow up obstacle course and the various other amusements were indeed entertaining.
I didn’t freakin win anything in the end raffles but I did go home with quite a bit of stuff.
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Shown here, Chris Wheeler and Mike Glaser with the left over food we hauled home from it. We just kept walking out the doors with each others shirts to avoid the limits they put on taking home food (which was stupid anyway).
