Last week I reported that my yellow lab Buddy is reaching the top clickity-clacks of lifes log flume ride and would be taking the plunge into the sweet release of death any second now. Nevermind. Dudes fine. He was just sick. He was breathing super hard even when laying and getting up was difficult or impossible without help so naturally I figured the 86 yr old pup was inching toward the bucket so he could kick it. But then I remembered how active he was a few weeks ago and realized that you don’t just wake up with a bad case of old-as-fuck, so something was fishy around here. Under closer inspection, he had a runny nose. hmmm.
My mom and I took him to the vet against my dads wishes cuz he didn’t want to get stuck with a $150 bill for a dog that’s just on his way to die. I agreed, but cast the deciding vote to go anyway since maybe we’d learn something that would at least ease his pain or make him more useful since he’s no good to me just laying there and occasionally eating. That’s what girlfriends are for.
Vet said he has phenomena and filled a small bottle with pills from a giant ass bottle that looked like it came from Costco. Good thing for my dads sake that it didn’t cost the $150 he complained about and we skated by with a total bill of only $260. awesome.
While waiting for a blood test to see if he had AIDS or whatever, I was looking around the room and took a few minutes to figure out wtf this sign next to the synchronized swimming bulldogs meant.
FOR YOUR SAFETY Please do not ask to restrain your animal? Why the hell would people be coming into a vet and asking to hold their wild ass attack dogs down and the vet being all “oh no no, we don’t want your own animal to bite you, so please let us be the ones to force it into submission thnx”.
Whatever. Buddy’s not breathing so hard anymore already and its easier for him to get up n stuff. Still an obese blog of gross, but when I’m not here visiting, my mom needs something to feed and nurture, so that’s not gonna change any time ever. He’ll die overweight and old. but not this week.
