2 months ago he was fine and just as active and jumpy as ever. Then after coming back here to Texas from California he was sick, went to the vet, got meds and got better but never 100%. Now he’s sluggish and deathy again. Went to the vet again and the diagnosis is that he’s gonna kick it any day now. His heart is failing. He’s improved a little with the new batch of $150 pills the vet gave, but that only extends his life expectancy to “next month” instead of “monday” (he would have had to have been taken out back and shot in the head be humanely “put down” if there was no change after taking the pills). However, there are other circumstances that exist that may not allow him to live that extra month. Mainly: I might have to fatally kick his fkkn ass.
He has trouble getting up, so he only does so when he really wants to. We try to get him up more with persuasion and trickery (like using “walk” and “swim” as buzzwords to excite him into cranking his ass vertical again) but yesterday he needed to go out and pee some of his collected fluids out so I had to urge him up. the vet gave him a diuretic to get rid of the fluids built up in his legs that caused them to swell due to his weak heart. -cuz apparently if your heart doesn’t pump strong enough, you’ll get liquid in your limbs and be able to piss it out after taking a pill? whatever. he’s the dog-scientist.
So I gently moved him a little and he lets out a little yip to notify me that “oh, no no – thank you. i really don’t want to be moved right now”. Just kidding. the fucker growl snapped at me with tooth-to-skin contact. So slapped him in the face and calmly reminded him of the situation: “You can either live 4 weeks…or 4 minutes…what’ll it be sailor?”. I found out later that earlier in the day my dad tried to move him as well and with the same result, except his snap broke skin. mm NNNN. i dont think so…
The last time Buddy bit me I punched him in the face a bunch of times. I caught him eating a candy bar on my bed and as soon as he saw me he recognized that the warden had just caught him misbehaving and tried to hide it a little. As I approached, I gave him the slow verbal “noooo” scold and slowly reached to take the candy away. He showed fang and bit my hand – causing a large puncture wound in the fleshy area between your thumb and index finger. Within a fraction of a second (about the time it takes to pull an arm back for momentum) my attacker had received 2 return blows to the face and then one more just cuz I had to assert dominance since after the return-fire he snarled in response to try and intimidate me into leaving it at that. I don’t think so.
Whining about abuse or the old “he’s just a dog” line won’t get you anywhere. The man-dog relationship is as follows: You, wolf, will be loyal, alert me to danger, and defend and protect me and my family; in return, you will no longer have to worry about food or shelter.
So there’s no biting – even if its a primal response. and when there is, in cases where instict takes control, then you learn mans-instict to beat the fuck out of you immediatly afterward.
That’s more just a fun aside though. Buddy hasn’t gotten cranky in his old age and usually allows/appreciates being helped (especially when he lays on tile and cant get up because he can’t gain traction on a non-carpet surface).
Still though… tic toc…
poor buddy, what are you gonna do with the corpse?