Ursula’s Boobs

So do you think Ursula wears a spandex top that blends in with her lower half? or is she just topless and doesn’t have nipples? #LittleMermaid

The latter, right? No nips on the sea witch. Even though that’s totally weird. Responding to a friends additional objection that “Why she even has boobs is confusing. Its not like little baby octopi are going to be latching on for nourishment.”:

It’s not confusing cuz we’re traditionally not to believe merfolk evolved – they’re born of magic n stuff, so their body parts are intentional 50/50 split and not mixtures of the species. However, Disneys adaptation doesn’t make this clear. they go in the other direction by playing up a “we are different but we’re really the same” theme. That didnt start out being the case since In the original script, Ursula was Tritons sister and humans knew their names as folklore (one of the sailors in the opening scene talks about it in a deleted sequence of dialog and extra verse of Fathoms Below), which makes it more accepting since it solidifies their place as something separate from our world and not just humans who have fish parts.

“Life’s full of tough choice, in et”

The stage musical takes this a step further by reinstating the brother-sister-Ariels-Aunt tree, but mentioning that their dad was Poseidon and when he, er, died (blurg?), he gave Triton his trident and Ursula her magic shell. I’m not wild about the “magic shell” bullshit since no one who saw the Disney movie thought that was anything on par with the Trident – it was just her jewelry that she used to hold Ariels voice and also so we had a reminder that that Vanessa bitch is really the sea witch since shape-shifting and evil-twin incarnations always have to have something like that (a bow, a distinct color scene, a snail shell necklace, etc).

It all makes much more sense under this storyline since it’s common in Greek myths for gods to have offspring that have random attributes related to their specialty – which explains why Ursula and Triton are both aquatic but not the same. It also explains why a friggin mermaid is ruling the ocean and has such a badass undersea castle when you introduce the whole Poseidon lineage. Eric always looked Greek to me too. Possibly Italian, but I’m sticking with Greek.