Thoughts on our new President

O-BA-MAH O-BA-Ya, you can pretty much see where that’s going I guess. The real thing to be happy about on this historic occasion that no one is honest enough to point out is that the biggest achievement about Obama’s election as president is that he exists in the first place as an option. Cuz, hi. Newsflash to racial minorities: we would have voted you into high office decades ago if you just gave us the chance. You didn’t. The Obama victory is not a time to be happy because we’re finally less racist now, its a time to be happy because our racial minorities are finally improving their lives on their own a tad more and slowly - oh so painfully slowly - allowing the racist remnants of times and events long past to STILL keep them down today.

Also: everyone who was expecting President Obama to suddenly fix your crappy life with his magic touch powered by unfiltered HopenChange ore? Boy are YOU in for the surprise ending of a disappointment times a million. Do yourself a ha-uuuge favor and go ahead and be prepared for nothing to change in your life unless you change it. You voted in “change” on tax policy and court justices. not your life. The problem with Obama’s excitement generation (ya, I checked. there’s only one) is that he “inspired” so many people…to… vote for him. Not to actually DO anything. Just to get excited about his campaign. Erm: that ain’t enough fellas.

As far as danger in store for the new administration? My PSP (Post Script Prediction) is that the Obama’s will get Hot, not Shot. But please? Crazies? Could we please be cool about this? I would really appreciate it if you go ahead and not try to kill our new president. Cool? can we accomplish that please? I know its “about that time” for another assassination attempt, and Obama’s JFK qualities are getting some people buzzing with historical patterns in the space/time continuum, but…maybe we just go ahead and not. do that? Really, that’d be great.

What do I mean by “hot, not shot”? Wutch u THINK it means, bitch? Jk. My second prediction, after no murder attempt being made on President elect Obama, is that Malia (shown in red below. classy red. not “wtf are you wearing?” red, like her mom) will get hot.

The possibility will become more clear over the years and by midway into dads possible 2nd term, she’ll be full-on jailbait to all you terrible people. Little Sasha has potential sure - obviously - Barack and Michelle are pretty good looking, so gene-wise, they both have a fair shot at being attractive when they enter adulthood, but its still a guessing game on that front for awhile. Plus, anyone who knows sisters knows that there’s gonna be at least a 5 point difference in the attractive scale, so we’ll see if my call requires a revisiting later on (check back in 6-9 years for an update).

I have an excellent track record on judging the percentage of likelihood that a child will blossom into a pretty teenager and/or hot adult (both usually don’t occur. its either ugly duckling or reverse uglyduckling unfortunately) or not and at this juncture, I can confirm that Malia’s got the goods on which to build on. the only thing that could ruin it for her is if she either gains food-weight under the pressure’s of being first-kid for that stage in her life or fails to lose her baby fat (not her fault) a la Hillary Duff (gross), who still looks like a child to me because her face never matured from when she was just a kid.

So congratulations to dark people for churning out something we can all say “yes we can” to - no one try to kill him please - and keep an eye on Malia as she sails through her awkward years in the Washington goldfish bowl for the next 4 years till the Romney’s move in.

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