Richardland Blog

At least that was the score tonight. I’m at my apartment in Hawaii with my mom, aunt & uncle and their son/my cousin. We got home today and my cousin Steven turned on the tv and channel surfed for awhile before settling on a few movies. First US Marshals with Tommy Lee Jones, then In the Line of Fire with Clint Eastwood, then Bram Stokers Dracula which he almost didn’t put on since he said he had seen it so many thousands of times but did anyway. Well, he left the apartment at the perfect time because it was 11PM Hawaii time and that’s when the the last repeat of the O’Reilly Factor *coughs*bestshowontv*coughs* has its last repeat of that days edition on, so I changed the channel to it.

Well, cuzin Steevers comes back in and watches for a little bit before deciding that this is boring and changes the channel - with the remote that I failed to notice him steal from next to my computer. What in tha waaaa? I of course said aw heeeeelllz no - we be watchin O’Reilly, motherfucker (I think I may have used slightly different terms. Idk). He said we’re watching Dracula. I contended that O’Reilly can be just as violent and might even suck some blood - you just never know, but he wasn’t buying it. See, I had to handle it carefully, cuz cousin Steven gets babied in ways I cant even fathom - and I’m the baby of ALL the cousins AND the only only-child.

A few nights ago here he stormed out of the room, slamming doors and leaving the apartment at night because I asked him why he thought we shouldn’t have dropped the A-bomb on Japan after Pearl Harbor… Literally that’s what I happened. I didn’t say “hm. thats an interesting hippie feel-good nonsense thing to feel, but why would you object to such a life saving action as us ending World War 2 when the alternative would have been such a far greater blood bath?”. Nope. Literally asked “why do you have that position? I’m curious as to how you came to that conclusion” and then when he flipped out on a “why do I always have to explain myself!!!??” dealie, I said “seriously though… im… just curious”. And so he stomped out.

So tonight I was extra gentle even though this time he was actually being a jerk for no reason. But it didn’t work. He was making a stand here and getting mad at my suggestion that perhaps it might be time to turn over the control of the tv to someone else in the room for 47 minutes vs his 4 hours 7 minutes (nice how that math worked out hm? I know. Poetry).

So he watches his Dracula for about 8 minutes, then channel surfs. I know, what a dick, right? So he’s watching Family Guy and whatever is on Bravo and flippin around for an additional 9 minutes until getting bored with his protest and turning it off and leaving. So I get up and turn the show back on, and my mom - bless her spineless heart - asks me to turn the tv her direction and takes the remote from next to my computer and puts it in my lap, saying that its best to have there so it doesnt get changed again (cuz duh, we’re an O’Reilly family).

So the final score between the king of the undead and the king of cable news is a draw.

I SAID GOOD DAY! or no. no I didn’t. but that’s the only thing missing from this speech I just popped off to Mikey the highschool-best-friend-turned-douche.

Fem no more. Mikey's Facebook image shows what a tough douchebag he is. 

He requested me on Facebook 2 or 3 years ago and I accidentally accepted it because I was still new to its un-myspacelike user interface. Once I realized he was on my friends list though, I gave an open mouthed gasp while letting my monocle drop from my eye and promptly deleted him. I guess he didn’t notice for awhile and requested me again months later. I accepted it by adding a “how do you know this person” detail (a feature in Facebook that lets people know how you know your friends list friends, be it school, work, S&M night at Scavo’s, etc) that the other person has to approve and in it I wrote:

Since he has to confirm this and didn’t, we remained not-friends on Facebook and he messaged me messaged me saying something like “Geez Bushnell. I continue to be baffled by your reaction to me. I know we’re not best of friends anymore but Facebook friends are different than real life friends. they’re more like associates”.

I rolled my eyes and was about to ignore the message when I felt a little bad since this loser is SO dumb and SO brain damaged by drugs an alcohol that he really probably doesn’t understand the reaction he’s getting. So I figured it was my duty as a decent human being to explain to him why he himself is not one, and also to put some of your curious minds to rest if you’re unclear on why he no longer appears in references and videos on richardland.

SO… this is the message I sent him

I particularly like my use of “ever ever ever” and “but not me… [second line:] not me”. mmm. Poetry!

you have nothing to be baffled by.

Between Michael Glaser and You

you’re not an acquaintance.
you’re only a thin hairs tic away from being a full blown enemy, whose life i plan to make difficult in as many ways possible.

sorry your memory sucks but we arent old chums who drifted apart by chance or life circumstance and just kinda became less palzy with eachother over time.

you were a friend close enough to be family. i plucked your dorky butt from obscurity and made you a partner in the industry of my life. i had your back in battles of friends, school, your family, and love life despite having no personal gain and often receiving negative consequences from it. then you started to be kindov a crappy person that was less considerate of our friends, less interested in our own friendship, more selfish, and less prudent in life choices, but that was still whatevs until you outright betrayed me. but even after that i gave you a chance to keep a friendship and you said the most disgustingly amnesiac (root word “amnesia”) response as if i was just some dude you had met in the quad one day and had a cool convo with one time or something.

you changed into a person not worthy of my respect, became apathetic about me when i was still just as much on “your team”, then you betrayed me in a heinous way, then acted like i was nobody to you.

so go to hell. we are not friends on any level and you dont get the benefit of ever being positively associated with me ever ever ever.

you contact me every few years not with reconciliation, not with life reflection, not with sorrow or regret or a resolve to make things right - you just say “hey” and then act like you dont understand when youre not well recieved.

your strategy that time heals all wounds is probably workable with anyone else given the right amount of time. but not me.
not me.

bye

Living in L.A. and working in the entertainment industry, celebrity sightings dont really impress me and I never blog about them because it seems cheap and name droppy, which no one likes. Especially if I did it every time I glanced a famous person or talked to one ever so briefly in whatever setting. But when it’s someone who’s work I already specifically enjoy, then its cool and share-worthy. But aside from cable news, the only shows I watch are cartoons and and Desperate Housewives (DHW), with the recent addition this past August of Entourage, after Jimmy turned me on to it. So unless there’s a CNN vs Fox News Volleyball champtionship for charity goin on here while I’m at my apartment in Hawaii, I only have 2 other shots.

Well, I’m walking down Waikiki beach watching the waves smack up against the cement walk and catch the eye of the guy behind me who shoots back a friendly smile. I think…hmmm.. he looks like Drama… So I do the stop and half stare for a second and before lingering too long and looking creepy I ask him and sure enough it’s Kevin Dillon - Johnny Drama from Entourage.

So he introduced himself and asks my name and we sit there and chat for a little bit. Turns out the whole cast is there shooting an episode, staying at the Hilton just 1 hotel away from my apartment. I asked if the plot sends them to Hawaii or somewhere else, since I know a lot of times Hawaii is used to film various tropical locations, and many times even California. He said the part of the episode they’re filming here supposedly takes place in Mexico and they’re filming the next 2 days over on the east side. I told him I had an apartment here and he asked if I had acreage and I said no, just a *clearsthroat* penthouse apartment right on the beach. He said he’d love to get a place here and I said “too bad you’re not starring in a hit TV show or anything so you could afford it”. Ya, I’m clever. He laughed. I told him the best swimming spots. Jeremy Piven was apparently already somewhere out there surfing or swimming. I convinced him to go back to his hotel to change into swim trunks and take a dip. Very nice and personable dude. But I was pissed, and told him, that the ONE time I don’t bring Brenda (my iphone) down to the beach (so I could swim), is when he passes by. He said to come swing by the Hilton some time and see if I catch him or anyone else. Like I said - real nice dude.

So we shake hands and he leaves. But after awhile on the beach I’m just too anxious and I gotta run back down the coast to get my iphone. About 20 minutes later I get it and I start walking the opposite direction I was before and I start calling people to tell them the story. I call this girl in California after Jimmy fails to pick up his phone and I’m re-telling the story about meeting Johnny Drama to her… as I walk right. up to. Drama. Now in his bathing suit and passing my direction. He gives me a head nod to say “hey” (nice that he remembered me) and I tell the girl on the phone I gotta go real quick and hang up and he goes “oh, you got it now. great!”. So I was able to capture the moment.

It was a little difficult since iphones are touch screens and I couldnt see us in the frame. He was way patient though. Real chill. Then I realized we had the sun behind us, so we switched around.

That’s my apartment building behind us. All the way to the left - the space you see is the elevator shaft. My apartment is the Penthouse there.
And yes, I know my smile is douchey there. And yes, - you like how I cut him off in the picture while I’m prominently displayed? No forgetting who the REAL star is for me…
A part of me wished he was less cool and personable and more like some of the other Hollywood jerks I’ve ran into or been at the same studio at the same time or otherwise had encounters with. Cuz then I would have annoyed him for some screen time on the show, given him richardland.com info and asked for all kinds of promos and hook ups. But since he was pleasant and real, I didnt want to switch gears into the annoying “help me get a break in the biz” guy. So I’ll never know if I could have landed a spot as an extra or otherwise gotten a hook up (which believe it or not, occasionally leads to something). But oh well. It will be a fun story to tell if we ever work together after I’m a big shot in the business anyway.

Every once in awhile when observing my dad channel surfing I’ll catch him linger on something really ridiculous like Sesame Street or an equally kiddie kid show. I find it interesting the speed he’ll zip through all the other channels and then float for 5 to 25 seconds on puppets singing about tying your shoes.

A similar instance happened today as I went to see a movie with my parents and caught my dad studying a video game in the arcade for over a minute. Just standing there… watching the demo run of the game. I find it very poetic.

I was on the beach with a gay gentleman and another guy a few hours ago and we were discussing who should take the key to our bungalow back with them. I said the guy going back now should take it because myself and the gay dude could just get buzzed in through the front entrance. The gay guy then said “what if we go in the back door?” and I of course said, duh, you’d have to walk your ass around the front. Then there was some blah blah blah and I remembered the gay guy has a key also that we all forgot about - so the way I said it was to say “oh, you don’t need a key cuz you have the…” and then I patted my back pocket to reference where his own key is.

In a shocked manner, clealy not realizing I was making a reference to the key in his butt pocket, the gay guy says “that’s not what I meant by back door!!”

and I laughed…

and a girl nearby on a towel laughed. because it was funny… because this person thought I was randomly referring to anal sex…

It must suck for Black people named Thomas who have siblings that have kids, because they can’t avoid being an “Uncle Tom”.