Richardland Blog

So…It’s evening at Honolulu international airport. Going back home to California…
Myea. I’m REALLY tired right now and due to an error on their part, the airline took my ticket away as i was boarding the last plane out tonight back to the mainland. the next flight is at 8am.

Ok, so that stinks cuz now i have to go aaaall the way back to my apartment here in hawaii and come back in the morning, right?
notsomuch…

the bus, taxi’s and shuttles here all require this paper stuff called money. and i used exactly what i had left to get here (and pay for Wheeler’s half cuz he was broke. wheeler of course is already in the air in his first class seat to Dallas where he’ll connect back to St Louis). i even borrowed $2 from the lady at the front desk of my apartment building so i could tip the shuttle guy.

i have 20 cents left on my debit card, which is lame because i transfered a couple hundred dollars from another bank account to this one AND withdrew another several hundred from my paypal into the same account and neither has shown up in it yet. Apparently Memorial “day” is a full weekend holiday(?). Wtf. I have $12 of credit left on my credit card (its new, so I only had like a thousand dollar limit anyway) and ATM’s require a minimum of $20 withdrawl.

SO…. im camping out at the Honolulu international airport tonight… woot…
and by “camping out” I of course don’t mean with a tent, food, pillow and sleeping bag with a hot chick in it - though I will be outside since they kick you out of the gate terminal at midnight and reopen at 5am. Hawaii architecture has a lot of open-air space. which. I used to think was awesome.

if i had kept the $2 i borrowed from Lelani at the front desk, i would have had enough to take the bus back to my comfortable apartment with the nice soft bed and blankets. which reminds me of a Chicken Soup for the Soul story where a kid at a coffee shop asks how much an ice cream sundae is and is told 50 cents, so he asks how much a dish of plain ice cream is and is told 35 cents so he orders the plain ice cream and when the waitress comes back to his table to wipe it down after he left, she notices that he left her two nickels and 5 pennies - in other words, he only had 50 cents to spend total, so he ordered the cheaper item so he could leave her a tip.

thats me right now. except the kid in the story didnt have to sleep in an open-air airport all night. and he expected the consequences of his decision before they came. and he got ice cream. my version of the story just sucks.

It’s okay though cuz I like things like this cuz they teach me lessons. Even though I noticed my money in those 2 accounts dwindling several days ago and made the money transfers then, I should have either been paying MORE attention or should just be unlimitedly wealthy so this kind of thing is impossible to happen. So it serves me right.

——————————————

UPDATE: Ya. that was awful. And here’s a fun addition: the 8am flight was full. so I didn’t make it. Since the day after Memorial day isn’t part of the 14-days-leading-up-to-memorial-day holiday, the money I transferred from the other accounts on Friday showed up this morning and I was able to get cash out of an ATM and take the bus back to my apartment and sleep all day - go for another quick swim at the beach, and now it’s 6:30am Wednesday and I’m at the airport again, this time with ticket in hand and ready to board my first class seat back to Los Angeles.

PS: Shout out to my boy Rylan who read this post as a myspace bulletin and offered (though hours too late) to have some friends of his in Honolulu come bail me out. And anti-shout-outs to stupid girl I met here (Liz) who just moved MINUTES away from the airport and put her phone on silent that night.

I was sitting on the couch here doing some work on my laptop, minding my own business when Dwayne saw it fit to come fart on me. This amuses him every time since I get up and move away from the fog of his ass stink and he keeps doing it despite my saying not to. About 28 seconds later, he recalls a story about how an Israeli girl today told him he looked like one of her friends in Israel. Her name is Jorden (Jorden from Israel. cute, huh?) and she gave Dwayne the name of her friend and told him to Facebook him to see. I asked what it was and said I’d look it up right now for him and I did.

So this is Rotem Riss, who sure enough, looks a lot like Dwayne:

Except, for some reason, he REALLY doesn’t want Rotem to know this, cuz I announced I was going to message the dude with Dwaynes profile link and let him know about his twin in the American midwest and Dwayne fa-lipped.

First he just said NO a bunch of times and “cuz I don’t want you to” when I asked why and then he added that he didn’t want this guy to know who he was. I reminded him that thats not in play here cuz Facebook profiles are private and all he’ll be able to see is the profiles thumbnail pic - but still, I said, alright fine, I’ll just send a link to one of his pictures so he can see Dwayne but not know even his name or location. Still too much, so to stop the action of copying the picture url, Dwayne starts mashing his hands on my keyboard and pressing the power button and holding it down as long as he can hoping my computer will shut off before I can flick him away. So he ends up chasing me around the room for a few circles while my computer mouse is banging against shit and my computer lid is being flung up and down till I finally said: “FINE. Damn man. you made your point. Good thing you didn’t over react or anything”. Dwaynes response was “well why can’t you just do what I ask? you know, respect my wishes.”

Um… ya…

Helpful hint: making a case for the validity of a crazy over reaction thats premised on “respecting someone’s wishes” is best delivered at a point in time OTHER then when you just farted in your opponents face for the umpteenth time against their wishes.

I pointed this out to him of course, but he didn’t appear to understand the connection between his action that he thought was funny and not a big deal and mine (with the difference that mine was a first time offense).

weird. But Rotem is pretty cute though.

Far: Jungle pimp. Wuzzup Jane? You swiningz on dis vine? ya. I hear ya. holla atch yo boy..

Near: oh…..you’re…. drunk…

I just heard Dwayne listening to Never Gonna Give you Up in the other room and I asked if he was Rick Rolling himself (which is an internet nerd thing which is basically a classic bait and switch: a person provides a weblink they claim is relevant to the topic at hand, but the link actually takes the user to the music video for that ridiculous song).

He had no idea what I just said. So I said it again - “Are you Rick Rolling yourself?”
He pauses for a second and says “No, Rick Astley sings this song”…
…

So I explained what Rick Rolling was and he said he doesn’t know about most internet things and went about his listening.

It was weird.

Loading image

Click anywhere to cancel

I have gotten over 400 of these messages auto-sent to my comments on Myspace…

Hey Richard Bushnell’s Official Myspace, I just bought you as my PET! Click here to find out how much I think you’re $$WORTH$$!

——————————-
This comment was sent by your friend via the Own Your Friends! application. To block comments sent via Apps.

click here.

GO. TO. HELL.
You didn’t buy crap. I’m not for sale.
If I was you couldn’t ALL have bought me - I’m a finite recourse. There’s only one in stock.

You all suck. Every last one of you who willfully put this stupid application on your profile and spammed all your poor friends with it. It’s not funny. It’s not cute. It’s not fun. There are zero redeeming qualities of this Myspace app. You suck for using it. The only reason anyone uses it at all is to join the sheep heard after getting it from 10 of their other friends.

Stop buying me. The maintenance alone would bankrupt you.
Die.

k, so this just happened 20 minutes ago: im walking across the street and this girl in this really slutty tight and lowcut outfit is walking the opposite way and spits on the street. so i go “thats classy” loud enough for her to hear and she turns around, looks me up and down and goes “would it be classy if aye sucked yo dick?!”. i react in a general wtf manner and turn to keep walking and she comes closer with a soft smile and is like “seriously though, do you live here? where you stayin baby?” and i walked faster to make the rejection clearer and she starts yelling “pussy!” at me while all these other people on the street are like wtf??

she was actually kinda cute till i saw that nasty cigarette in her hand. and till she opened her mouth (no pun intended).

I just got totally busted on Facebook, probably because of their stupid and intrusive “hey guys! look what your friend left on another friends comment wall!” feature that sucks and is stupid and shouldn’t exist. I thought mine wouldn’t show up cuz I turned that feature off, but I also don’t really know how facebook works, so whatever. There’s still always the possibility that the busting occurred naturally and not through a feature. Here’s what happened:

Late last night I left a happy birthday message someone. It was cute and said something about hoping their day was filled with all the pleasure of a thousand Swedes massaging them and feeding them fruit and wine or something like that. Okay, so I post it and go back to the main page. And there’s another birthday. and the temptation looms…. Why don’t I just paste what I just wrote on this persons page too? Hmmm? why dont I indeed… Well I knew why not to. Just 2 days ago I had scoffed at another friend leaving the same mothers day message on 2 peoples comments. Facebook puts it right on your front page. There it was - the persons name and the comment they left one after another - same message, two people. I identified it as tacky. But then when in the same position last night I gave in to the dark side under confidence I’d get away with it and I copy and pasted the comment to the other persons page.

I went to sleep satisfied with life. But awoke to my horror to see person A had totally caught me and pointed it out on my comment wall, calling me out as the lazy and unoriginal bastard I had made myself out to be.

So I did what I had to do… I rewrote history and deleted the comment I pasted and her comment pointing it out.

TEKNORAT4U: buy a rifle gay
richar900: a gay rifle? or buy one because im gay?
TEKNORAT4U: buy one so you don’t become gay
TEKNORAT4U: I know you live in cali and all
TEKNORAT4U: but there is still some shit you can legally get
TEKNORAT4U: so buy one
richar900: but. theyre scary
richar900: im afraid ill accidently kill myself with it and everyone will think it was suicide and ill look like a douche
TEKNORAT4U: they’re not scary
TEKNORAT4U: and if you accidently killed youself with it you’d be a douche by default
TEKNORAT4U: because it’s impossible. unless you’re a total moron
TEKNORAT4U: do it nigg
richar900: but thats not why im scared. ive always been scared of like sleepwalking and offing myself or something
TEKNORAT4U: why would the barrel ever be pointing at your face with the gun loaded?
TEKNORAT4U: why would your finger ever be on the trigger unless you intended to fire?
TEKNORAT4U: there’s no such thing as firearms accidents lol
richar900: i have this thing where i keep thinking of the wrong thing to do and it just plays over and over and over until i can get my brain to change the subject. like yelling OSAMA at the security line in the airport or doing a run and jump off a really high balcony in an apartment, or yelling nigger at a BET event - i just keep thinking of it like a video that plays on a loop and im always afraid that that secret skitzo part of my brain will take over and good-richard wont be able to stop it until… *music* its too late
richar900: hahaha
richar900: with a gun in the house id just keep thinking of going over to it and lifting it to my head just for kicks or something psycho like that and then be afraid i actually do it one day
TEKNORAT4U: I think everyone has that fear
TEKNORAT4U: but if you go that psycho having a gun or not won’t make much difference haha
richar900: but it makes it easier. cuz evil richard probably can only leak through for a few seconds, so he has to act fast to cause maximum damage. so i can handle word blurts or knives nearby. but a gun just goes bang and youre dead with no time for a comedic line delivery of something like “and this suit is dry clean only!” or “there goes my chance at that hair commercial”
TEKNORAT4U: lol
TEKNORAT4U: hmm
TEKNORAT4U: yeah maybe you shouldn’t have a gun
TEKNORAT4U: rofl
MisterAwesome10: *slow nod…………………

When Hot Cakes sell even better than normal, and their venders wish to use a metaphor to express this… what do they say they are selling like?