Archive for June, 2008

Mmmm. I wan a piece of that

Sunday, June 29th, 2008

Just to cover my bases against possible future controversy (but mostly just cuz it’s funny), I took a screencap of this myspace reply I just sent to this girl saying that she “looks delicious” in her main pic among a few other things: Her main pic at the time was a cake.

Right after I sent it, I had a vision of it falling into enemy hands after she had changed her main picture back to one of herself, so I had to clarify in public that I’m not a myspace sextalker - I’m just hilarious.

The part about going to bed at a decent hour is valid too… I’ve become much more sensative to this fact in my old age. Can’t stay up all night with no negative effects of it the next day like I used to back in my youth.

In 37 1/2 days, I’ll know if the data on my laptop can be saved

Thursday, June 26th, 2008

Last week my 17 inch Macbook Pro crashed while I was using it so I force-powered if off and finished the nights work on my desktop PC. The next day I powered up the Macbook and after a prolonged Apple screen, would receive only a blinking question mark every time a reboot was attempted…

Took it to the Apple store. The “Mac Genius” (I use quotations as a double meaning since its the phrase Apple describes the position themselves, but also that I am skeptical of the validity of the title - both of which can be represented by quotes and would be ambiguous to the reader on which I was trying to convey if I didn’t just tell you “both”. man, I’m awesome) said the hard drive is broken and I need a new one. So I bought one from a local computer store and started to dissect the computer to install it. I did… and stared at it awhile… thinking of all the gorgeous pictures of myself and the time spent editing the 5 or 6 videos on the old hard drive that would be lost forever.

Apple Macbook Hard Drive Replacement
(this is actually just some random person’s picture on photobucket cuz I was too lazy to take a picture and upload it myself cuz its so many extra steps to do it on the PC. my open mac and the new/old hard drive look exactly like this though, so whatever. screw you guys)

The data recovery place that Apple recommended I go to if I wanted to save the info from the busted drive gave me an estimate of $500 to $3,500 before I told him to die and hung up on him (or politely said “okay, thank you so much for the info, have a great day, goodbye”. whatever). But I couldn’t just leave the stuff on there only to be recovered years later when I could afford the time, energy and cost.

So I unhooked the new hard drive and put the old one back in. Tried a few things I found on Google. No use. Got a tip on a software fix, since the hard drive was clearly not physically broken as I found out through other tests I did and went to Apple to buy it. Upon checkout my card was declined. I remembered my current balance and totally lied to the guy and said to give me a minute to call my bank and get the issue resolved. Instead, I bolted out of the mall and back into my car and deposited some checks into my account at my bank 5 miles down the road and zipped right back to the mall in under 5 minutes and told the same guy to try the card again. When it worked he was surprised and asked what the problem was. I blamed it on my exorbitant and luxurious travels abroad for business and pleasure and the bank just has a sensitive “suspicion of lost or stolen card” policy. He was very impressed. And I was very a liar.

I brought the software home. Data Rescue 2. It came with no directions. Just a CD in a box. Ok… I start running it. It goes great for about 20 minutes. Stops the scan at 60 gigabytes. Freezes for about 40 minutes. I call the software makers. They say when it reaches a corrupt cluster it could take a few hours. I say okay, just wanted to see how to proceed - but also, just as a side note - this “estimated time remaining” number isn’t accurate…right? Because it keeps bouncing around from thousands to several thousands of hours. The guy says no, it could in fact be accurate and that he’s heard of drives scanning for up to a month, but that the people do indeed get their data afterward.

Dammit…

That was last week..
So far the scan is up to 75.5gb on a 150gb hard drive, making the progress till now a consistent 2gb per day.

So… continuing at this pace.
with 75gb to go..
at 2gb a day.
2 into 75 is….
37.5 days

Dammit…

Does anyone love food more than themself?

Wednesday, June 25th, 2008

I got this message from a stranger on Facebook today. If you can call one word and 2 dots a “message”. Here was the odd exchange:

Gaelle Alladio
love ..

Richard Bushnell
Today at 4:11pm
um. ya. i love “..” too.

Gaelle Alladio
Today at 4:12pm
do u love only the ‘ .. ‘ ?

Richard Bushnell
Today at 4:13pm
no, i love pizza also

Gaelle Alladio
Today at 4:19pm
amazing retort .. i think u love yourslf more than pizza..

Richard Bushnell
Today at 4:28pm
one hopes that everyone loves themselves more than any food. how sad if they do not.

Convo: I’m not gay anymore cuz I’m tired of BS. and I’m pregnant.

Friday, June 13th, 2008
Samantha

did i tell u that imma have a baby on nov 30th

5:45pmRichard

no

why the hell would you do that

5:46pmSamantha

it wasn’t planned it just kinda happened

5:47pmRichard

so you accidentally had sex while not on birth control?

5:49pmSamantha

no i used protection

but apparently it didn’t work

5:50pmRichard

what type of birth control?

5:51pmSamantha

i wasn’t on birth control at the time

5:52pmRichard

well then. not all that surprising is it?

who’s the dad?

5:53pmSamantha

his name is [name redacted] and he’s 20 he’s from trenton GA he’s a good guy

5:53pmRichard

hows he plan to support a baby?

and what happened to you supposedly being gay?

5:56pmSamantha

yeah well he’s got thing undercontrol w/ money.

and as for the whole bianca thing she let every guy at work(except 4) run a train on her….. she decided to do meth and so i left her

6:00pmRichard

so that made you not gay?

6:01pmSamantha

no it made me tired of bullshit

6:02pmRichard

so switching back to penis is getting away from bullshit?

6:02pmSamantha

no ………

[and then she stopped talking and got offline]

Don’t lie about SkipIt or you’ll burn in hell. or at least should

Thursday, June 12th, 2008

This video is titled as a Skip It commercial, despite it…not. being a SkipIt commercial..

One user commented with “lame”, another with “LIAR!!!!!!!!!!”, but the following from youtube user exquisiteoaf is by far the best:

This isn’t a commercial for Skip-It. This video is a sucky piece of crap and you should die in a fire. It should be pulled off youtube unless you change the title. Stop wasting the time of people who are looking for the actual Skip-It commercial. In conclusion, i’d just like to again stress that you should go to hell.

No one drowns in my pool on my watch. No one.

Wednesday, June 11th, 2008

No matter how small. I shall save them.

This is my poolmasters creed. One that I did not choose out of consciousness. But chose me. Like a calling. A calling. to rescue bugs that are slowly dieing in my backyard swimhole. -square. rectangle.
My swim rectangle. A shape, though similar to that of a coffin, shall not be the final resting place to any unfortunate insect I come across. No sir.

I have found myself spending minutes at a time rescuing the twittering bugs struggling to keep their heads above the surface. It starts with bees. and then moves to smaller, less appealing bugs. Even my enemies. They shall not die like this. Not this way. Not like this. Not today.

Even bugs I hate. If they land on or near me later, I will kill them despite saving them from drowning moments ago. Not the same species. The same individual bug. The same exact individual that I hand plucked from the mighty drink that is my leisure swim spot. I inform them all that if ever we are to meet again under altered circumstances, we shall do battle. and at times. we do. and I smite them, as is my duty.

But if need assistance - they the weak, they the injured, they the annoying - in my watery jurisdiction.. I shall aid them. As is also my duty.

“I wanna keep my hair JUST like this… hello?”

Monday, June 2nd, 2008

Dammit Facebook… Your stupid chat feature stinks.

10:47pm Lauren

hey honey

10:50pmRichard

i was just thinking of you

maybe cuz i was naked. but more probably cuz i got out of the shower and was like ba-damnDAMN - i heart my hair.

[EDITORS NOTE: because Lauren cuts my hair]

and then i was gonna take a picture to show you next time so i can keep it like this forever. or awhile

cuz the roots have inched in JUST enough to where the length is still good but its like aww ya wikka wut wut BAM. kno wut im sayin boo?

[5 MINUTE TIME LAPSE]…………………………..

10:56pmRichard

i’ll take that as a no. no you do not know what i am saying boo…. alright… ill just. um… go make some bagel bites then…..myea… alright…
*awkward exit*

I knew “Back to You” would be cancelled

Monday, June 2nd, 2008

Because I had a 3rd degree inlet to the casting director for it with a possibility to get some screen time in an episode or two or ten. It was at that point that I knew the Fox comedy starring Kelsey Grammer and Patricia Heaten was doomed to go off the air within weeks.

And oh look, I was correct. Surprising, since that only happens 98% of the time, so naturally every time I’m right its a total shock.

Yes, A week before my meeting, Fox announced it would not renew the contract for the series. You might think its delusionally self centered to think that even the possibility of me working on a television show would trigger a bad luck boomerang that would sabotage the entire series, but thats only cuz you’re new to the site. Stay awhile and you’ll come around.

I apologize to all those involved and take full responsibility for the jinxing.

Now it just likes it will be back…to me.
*tastefully dramatic music plays as foreground lights go out, leaving my silhouette while some credits roll or something*


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