When she replied to my comment however, I noticed something less obvious in the picture… That hand in the background… looks familiar… Wait.. what the.. is that E.T. at the fkking bar there?

Using Photoshop to raise the lights on the shadow in the picture however reveals that its not E.T. after all. just some dude who’s too chillax to firm up his wrist giving the wazaaap face…

perfectly normal. nothing to see here. carry on…

I’ve never been to a themed event like a car show or.. festival of beer. whats so festive about it? are there petting zoo’s and carnival rides? or is it boring and really just a low key gathering centered around beer the way Hanukkah is a “festival of lights”? do we have the Jews to thank for the beerfest as well? or is it the other direction and its a German Aryan thing probably, huh? – “probably, huh?” is one of those things that makes sense verbally but in text is just kindov a disaster. kindov like this blog.

shouldn’t someone have been killed for that tagline? i dont think they were cuz it would have been in the papers. but i really wish someone was forced to pay for that decision with their life… deep down i hope they did and it was just a really good cover up.

But seriously, what – i ask you in lou of googling – is this festival honoring beer? is it an ancient celebration started by medieval fraternities? i barely know what beer is, other than a drink that makes Wheeler punch holes in walls and get sad, and i think a festival is just a party, so.. wtf. a beer festival is just a 4th of July party that replaces the brats and burgers with different kinds of beer?

is it ridiculous that im a grownass man and am asking questions about wtf a beerfest is through a childish naivete? did i just really use “naivete” in a sentence?

In such a situation, it’s also possible that you might have a friend who is an internet based entertainer who finds stories such as these to be grist for his mill of mockery. What could also happen is that although he is gracious enough to not identify you on his widely popular blog, might possibly hold you up to inevitable teasing, scorn and ridicule that will result after he posts pictures from that night of irresponsible drinking on said blog…

It might sound like a random warning. but. you never know girls. these things can happen.
You don’t believe me? ok. well. take for example… oh, I don’t know. uh – well, I guess…I guess this would work as an example. I mean. just off the top of my head or whatever:

responsible drinking...

Oh ya, it would also be bad if you keep telling your internet based entertainer friend throughout that night how “pretty” the bouncer is who will later have to slog the bag of booze that is your flesh out of the club.

It will only add to the mocking and ridicule if he happens to be a demonic ogre.

So. consider yourself appropriately warned/frightened/encouraged/whatever it is exactly you want to take away from this experience of someone else’s experience.

she just HAD to park 2 whole blocks away from the stupid club...

Oh ya, and I forgot to mention that this girl is 19. and that she does this all the time. and that she’s going to get dead and raped (not necessarily in that order, but maybe) before she hits legal drinking age if she doesn’t knock it the eff off and maybe that’s the REAL reason I’m posting this blog like this? I mean, its not, but maybe it is, right? Like, the whole “warning” shtick was plausible. Cuz its like, why ELSE would I post such sad and embarrassing photographs of a dear dear friend? that would mean that I would think youre somehow entertained by this tragic drama. SURELY our society hasn’t fallen so far as to where the sight of pathetically drunk bitches is… amusing?

I would like to thank the ogre from tha hood for doing such a good job of carrying this necessary baggage to the car and only copping a feel 6 times at most.

clicks it ifs you cants reads it

Well… you can’t. really. say they made it too tacky. right? I guess?
I should go. I’m sure the “special guest DJ” (FINALLY. i’m sick of their regular guy) will be bringing the house down with “God Bless America” and Enya remixes containing news reports all night.

Ladies and gentleman alike, no doubt, will be rockin out in red white and blue clubbing clothes as the conversation at the bar and on the dance floor is centered around the horrors of Islamo-terrorism and the changes it brought upon the world.

The metal adorned navel in the promo image is probably symbolism for the center of our country that was attacked – pierced, if you will – by hateful extremists on that day.

Perhaps the double bars on the bellybutton ring are to represent the twin towers as they’re silver, but with just a splash of red in an otherwise grayscale upper half of the poster.

Gray, like the Word Trade Center. Red like the blood of the 3 thousand people murdered there.

The image’s featuring of exposed and sexified female (we assume) midriff and promoting Skyy vodka at the event must be their way of sticking it to the Islamist ideology that hates us for our decitant ways.

And that is why we must drink Skyy vodka and party it up on 9/11. at the Whip Lounge.

Because if we don’t… the terrorists win.

Update: Brian sent out an apology for this the next day.