2 thousand dollars well spent.

Image courtesy of Flickr

UPDATE: looks like im going no where today cuz i started too late in transferring 6 terabytes to mobile hard drives for the trip. its been transferring for 12 hours and its still not even 25% done.

I am using Carbon Copy Cloner to clone the drives and it looks like I have 77 hours left to go…

It doesn’t estimate remaining time but it’s been loading for 11 hours so far and the progress is the width of my thumb and the remaining room in the bar is 7 thumb widths long. So I’m going to leave tomorrow because I didn’t figure this out until it was too late for todays flight and then i’m just going to have to have someone here come turn off my computer, unplug the hard drives and mail them to me. ug…

DEAR SANTA*: buy me a thunderbolt hard drive block please.
—-
*You reading this, are Santa.

I’m loading this crap on stone age era Usb 2.0 hard drives where as this would take 7 seconds instead of 77 hours if I were transferring through thunderbolt:

Thunderbolt I/O technology gives you two channels on the same connector with 10 Gbps of throughput in both directions. That makes Thunderbolt ultrafast and ultraflexible. You can move data to and from peripherals up to 20 times faster than with USB 2.0 and up to 12 times faster than with FireWire 800. You also have more than enough bandwidth to daisy-chain multiple high-speed devices without using a hub or switch. For example, you can connect several high-performance external disks, a video capture device, and even a display to a single Thunderbolt chain while maintaining maximum throughput.

So i’m going no where today cuz my computer is “retarded”. <- Quotes because that word has turned into an exclusive use for the disabled and then turned to exclusively being used as a negative to the non-disabled (like how “lame” is only used as negative slang and not actually in reference to lame/disable human beings anymore). Does anyone even know anymore that to “retard” [verb] means to slow something and that non-handicapped non-human things can also be “retarded”? prolly not. The More You Know. I’m supposed to be on a plane right now…

UPDATE: 19 hours into the big copy and a hump was overcame. It will not take 77 hours after all and instead will be done before I go to sleep tonight. Well, the larger drive will, anyway. The 3tb drive using Carbon Copy is the one humming along nicely. The 2nd drive (since you can only run one instance of Carbon Copy at a time) was using Super Duper cloner and it failed so i’m now copying the data the old fashioned way – with a drag and drop.

I spent the entire sum of my earnings from my first job on a new computer 10 years ago and it cost me $2,000. I hooked it up and opened Internet Explorer right away and was disappointed that the page loaded just as long as on my family computer upstairs. Damn. I later learned of course that internet speed and computer processing speeds are different but it still sucked. The Dell setup I had invested my hard earned money in was okay. Nothing spectacular in terms of speed. It lasted 4 years before I had had enough and got a new one. this time a $4,500 monster that was twice as big as the previous one. It was okay on speed for awhile but got too painfully slow, and I finally switched to Mac for good.

Now I have a $5,000 Mac Pro with 16gb of memory a 3.2 ghz Quad core processor and 4 hard drives. and I still have programs freeze and long delays when processing various tasks.

Next move will be to go for a SSD (Solid state drive – ie, flash drive) which is considerably and noticeably faster as my 4gb of memory Macbook Pro with a SSD is about the same speed as my Mac Pro desktop. but theres a deeper issue I realized here and that is that i’m doing more things and one time on these more powerful machines. Each time I upgrade to more power, I do more. I’m like a goldfish growing to the size of the bowl you put it in. These computers are slowing down because I’m using their power to – right now for example: render 720p HD video, run 2 open videos in Quicktime, download 4 large files, upload 2 files, run iTunes an video file converter (Evom) and browse through about 80 open tabs dispersed in various windows of 3 open browsers (Firefox, Chrome & Safari).

Trackpad nonfunctional and keys make crunchy sounds when typing. Awesome.

UPDATE: Just as I dare not lie to God or his son Jesus, I dare not lie to Jobs or his son Apple – so when MJ, the Genius Bar rep with the 2 foot long red beard and discs in his earlobes asked me if I “left the computer unattended” to perhaps explain why there was a large amount of mystery powder in the base of the computer when he popped it open, I fessed up and said it was muscle growth supplement. The computer needs several parts replaced and will get shipped away for a whole week to get better .

I wonder if someone spilling a bag of weed on a towel is how the South Park character Towlie was invented. I never understood why that character is a towel but maybe the writers had a similar experience and got the idea.

Amen…
It’s available at Etsy for just 2 bucks.
If this goes over your head, I don’t want you to miss out on the lulz so I don’t mind explaining to you non-Mac owners that the Apple logo on the back of the laptop is part of the computer and it illuminates a vibrate white when the computer is powered on, thus making the Iron Man sticker a hilariously nerdy-cool use of negative space.

Bonus decal for Ms Satan:

Maybe i need to start traveling with my 3TB 12gb memory, 8-core 3GHz processor(s) MacPro =/

UPDATE: Tex fails too. i updated the address and it went down from $221 to $216. really gov’na? 5 whole dollars? you’re too kind… NEW PROBLEM: my total purchase including the Uncle Sam raping is $2,845.84. my current credit limit on my business credit card is $2,838. I am now on the phone with Visa trying to get clearance for this purchase, on hold listening to “put on a happy face” and contemplating the fact that even if I had it shipped to Texas to save that $5, I would still be $2 short to make this purchase.

Extra FML: I’m going through all the frivolous business purchases I made on this card that put me in this situation and forced to ask myself if each was worth it. They include a ebay items and domains such as whorepie.com (how could i resist not snatching that up? the origin was this girl mixing up/combining “shut your whore mouth” with “shut your pie hole” and saying “shut your whore pie” – this could be the next big thing. i had no choice. i have no regrets).

Late Breaking FML: right as I get off the phone with approval to make this purchase (20 minutes negotiating $5), I am about to pull the trigger and I get an IM from a business partner asking if I bought yet and if not, to not use that card… im now using a different card, making the last half hour a total waste.

UPDATE: my new Macbook left Shanhai thurseday morning and arrived in Anchorage Alaska by yesterday afternoon. omg u guyz, do you think itll come today? nahhh, its cant rite??? lolomg (im doing that thing where the bottom half of your eye lids are closed but not the top)

Especially since iPads in public right now are just “ways to spot douchebags” on account of their super uselessness-but-looks-cool factors. One of the replies on Myspace to my “remind me why i dont need an iPad” status said “Because anything that Apple makes is for faggots?” but I think this misses the mark. Really, thats like saying dicks are for faggots. Apple makes superior hardware and software. it cant be helped that it also comes with a style that turtle neck wearing coffee sipping yuppie douchefags will also be attracted to the product line.

Wheeler is raging with jealousy. He commented me the following: You are like Nazi Germany in ’39, blowing through everything with you blitzkrieg (RAM) and enjoying success. But like the German, your days of power and thoughts of world domination through RAM will end. Enjoy these numbered days of glory. Sig heil!

The truth is that that’s exactly what i plan on doing. and i will live in denial up until the final days in my bunker (room) surrounded by the remnants of a crumbling empire where i will convince my brainwashed younger blonde girlfriend to drink poison as i die a cowards death as a means to escape the shame of oncoming inevitable defeat.

LONG LIVE RICHERLANDE!!