Richardland Blog

the following takes place on the Facebook comments of a posted political article by Ryan:

Gina Lee (Wall High School) wrote at 2:16pm
i don’t feel like reading this! it’s way too long!!!!!

Ryan Mauro wrote at 2:18pm
Hence why I did not tag you, you unconcerned citizen.

Gina Lee (Wall High School) wrote at 2:21pm
guilty as charged!

Richard Bushnell wrote at 3:22pm
Gina wins the “most useless and obnoxious comment of the week” award. good pointers though

Gina Lee (Wall High School) wrote at 5:58pm
Richard wins the “least likely to tell when two people are joking around” award, and he should zip up that hoodie because we don’t wanna see the pubic hair that is growing out of his chest.

Anna Kurtz (Jersey Shore, NJ) wrote at 6:29pm
hahaha. leave it to you to write a note that starts so much unrelated controversy, ryan.

Ryan Mauro wrote at 7:55pm
WOW. I’m definitely posting more of the articles I write.

Richard Bushnell wrote at 8:40pm
Oh, i forgot how a joking attitude makes a comment either useful or less obnoxious. maybe Gina can explain that to me when she gets done fantasizing about my body (sorry kid, not interested).

Gina Lee (Wall High School) wrote at 9:30pm
oh don’t worry about it, you probably forgot because you yourself were too busy being obnoxious and useless by actually retorting my insults. And sir, i said nothing that even implied i was remotely attracted to you, after all i just assume all Californians are gay.

Richard Bushnell wrote at 9:34pm
so is Gina admitting she was being obnoxious and useless by retorting to my insult and thus apologizing for that? or whats the deal there? mentioning my body and public hair [sic] would in fact be an “implication” that you are at least “remotely” attracted to me, ya. i understand your frustration though. its not that you cant hit this cuz i like dudes, its cuz you look too much like one.

Gina Lee (Wall High School) wrote at 9:37pm
and the only thing i fantasize about doing to your body is photoshopping your face to be a bit more symmetrical.

Richard Bushnell wrote at 9:38pm
given your obsession with it, i dont think anyone believes you. but keep telling yourself that as i haunt your dreammmmms bay-beh

Gina Lee (Wall High School) wrote at 9:41pm
oh man you got me, yo know what it’s true. i secretly get all moist in my panties for old guys that argue with little girls on people’s notes.

Gina Lee (Wall High School) wrote at 9:43pm
and yes, i am willing to admit that i am an immature bitch with nothing better to do in the middle of the night. at least i own up to it though. see it’s sad in your case cuz you try to deny it.

Richard Bushnell wrote at 9:43pm
i already said that. you didnt have to admit it, but i guess you couldn’t resist putting it in graphic romance-novel-like detail.

Richard Bushnell wrote at 9:45pm
deny that im an immature bitch? when did you ask? having conversations with me in your imagination again? mmm. what am i wearing?

Gina Lee (Wall High School) wrote at 9:54pm
well i just wanted to make sure everyone knows how attracted to you i am because i am only attracted to guys who enjoy talking dirty 16 year olds over the internet.

Richard Bushnell wrote at 9:58pm
I assure you that if I knew you were a dirty 16 year old (you should take a bath. unless you meant a “to” to go in that sentence) I would have been much more lude and inappropriate with my comments.

Politely shooting down your graphic sexual comments towards my hot body however, isn’t considered “talking dirty”.

Gina Lee (Wall High School) wrote at 10:04pm
hahaha i am a dirty 16 year old!!! dirty 16 year olds are the only kind of girls that could ever find mediocre figure of yours appealing.

Gina Lee (Wall High School) wrote at 10:15pm
…and i do apologize for the typos, it’s just you get me so aroused i can’t seem to control the fast twitch muscle fibers in my fingers because all they wanna do is reach in to my pants and satisfy that little itch that all of these raging hormones of puberty create. i do appreciate the new picture by the way, it’s one more picture i can add to my collection of masturbatory material. it’s hard to find pictures of grown men who have the body of aborted fetuses. thank you, you have no idea what this means to me!

Richard Bushnell wrote at 10:15pm
Nah, dirty old bitches love me too. I prefer the 16 yr olds though, dont get me wrong.

Richard Bushnell wrote at 10:18pm
daaaaaaaaang Gina (thats a line from a show that was before your time. google it though. its a funny reference). your aborted fetuses had public [sic] hair on their chest? that’s…not normal. you’re not supposed to be doing drugs while preggers - or at all, since im sure you didnt realize.

Gina Lee (Wall High School) wrote at 10:30pm
i don’t know what tv show you are referencing but if they mention fetuses that’s cool. i also don’t know why you keep referring to pubic hair as public hair either…….. well i would love to stay up and argue with you all night, but all of your passionate words have stirred up the forbidden urges i apparently have for you. if you will excuse me i am going to attempt to relieve myself. although i can already tell you that i am gonna have to fake an orgasm because you lack the ability to ever satisfy any woman, even in their most elaborate sex dreams.

Richard Bushnell wrote at 10:35pm
public hair is exposed pubic hair (or sometimes pit hair - generally any hair that shouldnt be seen). i guess that phrase hasnt reached wide enough popularity yet.

why do you say apparently when you admitted them in such detail? wanna bet that i can satisfy you in real life? meet me at the public park. ill bring booze and condoms. you bring anything you want EXCEPT Dateline.

Awhile ago I got tired of the 350 group and event invitations piling up on my facebook account so I accepted every one of them. That was before I knew that when you join a group or event, the originator of each can mass message its members. So now I’m constantly annoyed by club promos and party event nightlife spam, but every once in awhile I get an interesting one. Like. today. Asking me to remember the terrorist attacks of September 11th 2001. by drinking vodka at a fashion club.

clicks it ifs you cants reads it

Well… you can’t. really. say they made it too tacky. right? I guess?
I should go. I’m sure the “special guest DJ” (FINALLY. i’m sick of their regular guy) will be bringing the house down with “God Bless America” and Enya remixes containing news reports all night.

Ladies and gentleman alike, no doubt, will be rockin out in red white and blue clubbing clothes as the conversation at the bar and on the dance floor is centered around the horrors of Islamo-terrorism and the changes it brought upon the world.

The metal adorned navel in the promo image is probably symbolism for the center of our country that was attacked - pierced, if you will - by hateful extremists on that day.

Perhaps the double bars on the bellybutton ring are to represent the twin towers as they’re silver, but with just a splash of red in an otherwise grayscale upper half of the poster.

Gray, like the Word Trade Center. Red like the blood of the 3 thousand people murdered there.

The image’s featuring of exposed and sexified female (we assume) midriff and promoting Skyy vodka at the event must be their way of sticking it to the Islamist ideology that hates us for our decitant ways.

And that is why we must drink Skyy vodka and party it up on 9/11. at the Whip Lounge.

Because if we don’t… the terrorists win.

Update: Brian sent out an apology for this the next day.

I got this message from a stranger on Facebook today. If you can call one word and 2 dots a “message”. Here was the odd exchange:

Gaelle Alladio
love ..

Richard Bushnell
Today at 4:11pm
um. ya. i love “..” too.

Gaelle Alladio
Today at 4:12pm
do u love only the ‘ .. ‘ ?

Richard Bushnell
Today at 4:13pm
no, i love pizza also

Gaelle Alladio
Today at 4:19pm
amazing retort .. i think u love yourslf more than pizza..

Richard Bushnell
Today at 4:28pm
one hopes that everyone loves themselves more than any food. how sad if they do not.

I just got totally busted on Facebook, probably because of their stupid and intrusive “hey guys! look what your friend left on another friends comment wall!” feature that sucks and is stupid and shouldn’t exist. I thought mine wouldn’t show up cuz I turned that feature off, but I also don’t really know how facebook works, so whatever. There’s still always the possibility that the busting occurred naturally and not through a feature. Here’s what happened:

Late last night I left a happy birthday message someone. It was cute and said something about hoping their day was filled with all the pleasure of a thousand Swedes massaging them and feeding them fruit and wine or something like that. Okay, so I post it and go back to the main page. And there’s another birthday. and the temptation looms…. Why don’t I just paste what I just wrote on this persons page too? Hmmm? why dont I indeed… Well I knew why not to. Just 2 days ago I had scoffed at another friend leaving the same mothers day message on 2 peoples comments. Facebook puts it right on your front page. There it was - the persons name and the comment they left one after another - same message, two people. I identified it as tacky. But then when in the same position last night I gave in to the dark side under confidence I’d get away with it and I copy and pasted the comment to the other persons page.

I went to sleep satisfied with life. But awoke to my horror to see person A had totally caught me and pointed it out on my comment wall, calling me out as the lazy and unoriginal bastard I had made myself out to be.

So I did what I had to do… I rewrote history and deleted the comment I pasted and her comment pointing it out.

Whatsamatter wienies? You intimidated by my awesomeness? Clearly so. Cuz over the last 3 months, five female friends I don’t talk to often or haven’t seen in person in awhile (or ever) on Myspace and Facebook have made passive aggressive comments about how my main pictures are missing shirts.

Ya. They sure are. So wuts it to ya bitches?

They’ll say things like “put a shirt on!” or comment a fully clothed picture with “didn’t know you owned any shirts!” (yuk yuk), but what they really want to say is that “I hate that your body is better than mine and that you’re not ashamed of flashing it around like I am”.

You can try and intimidate me into falling in line to behavior you’re more comfortable with allz you want lay-dies. But it ain gon have no effectz on meh.

Cuz what you have trouble understanding my dear children is that I don’t post pictures like that for any of your pathetic little reasons you do/have/ or would.

Not to get attention or impress the ladies.
Not to show off to my fellow males or earn respect.
Not to reassure myself that yes I AM sexy (”I am dammit! right??”)
Not to chronicle and boast over recent improvement in my appearance.

I post them for one reason and one reason only:

Because I’m a vain motherfucker.

And I like the sight of my own gloriousness.
And nothing. NOTHING. you say. will ever. everrrr. change that.

It is MYspace int it? Facebook is a page all about yourself still, right?
Ya. I thought so girls.
See ya around.
Good day…….

Above is Crystals current main pic on Facebook. She is the one on the right making the face. It’s cute, right? I think so. A weird still from an action candid.
I assumed it was her purposely being goofy, but I guess she thinks its sexy or something. Oops.

I left a comment on her “wall” (that’s so gay that they call it a wall) saying I had a nightmare that I was being chased by something that looked like her main picture. I was going to describe that “something” as a flame eyed wispy haired duck that was lunging at me trying to eat my soul, but I went the suttle route instead. Well, either way, Crystal didn’t see the humor. Her response:

(click screen cap to open full size image)

lol. I don’t know what Ford Models is (like the car company? guys don’t do car shows. wtf), but its still funny.

I am still new to Facebook though and don’t use it very often, so I’m still learning the rules. Crystal may be entirely correct, I don’t know. Only a handful of my model friends have Facebook profiles, for obvious reasons (same reason I hardly ever use it either - its harder to shamelessly self promote yourself, though that is starting to change with some of their new features and growth), so I don’t have much to compare to. But I’m wondering - maybe Facebook is the opposite of Myspace in the regard that its not considered YOUR-space, its more of a catalog of you for your friends to use as reference points. This would explain its stalker features that notifies your friend list every time you change your relationship status, write a comment on someone elses page or have a bowel movement that contains undigested particles.

I’ll investigate this theory further in my ongoing quest to understand Facebook. In the mean time I have noted the tentative rule on pictures being: shirtless model poses bad, scary lunging forward redeye kissiefaces good.

UPDATE: I Googled “Ford Models” and, duh, they’re a modeling agency. I think I might know someone who’s worked for them actually now that I think about it. They must have a stronger presence in New York (where Crystal lives) than LA.

Their website also contains hardly any shirtless representation though, so her reference seems to be notsogreat. Oops.

Ever since Facebook opened its slutty thighs to every developer on the internet that wanted a piece of their sweet college tang, it has been at least 14% less cool. Now I get weirdass requests to and for things that don’t make any sense or are totally gay.

There are a couple that are obvious(ly stupid), but most of them are just really odd and retarded. Someone sent me a ‘hawaiian luau invitation‘ and a few inquisitive clicks later, I have suddenly also invited 20 people on my friends list to the luau as well. What the hell? Now what? When does this take place. And where? I have an apartment on Oahu. Did I just volunteer to host a frigging themed Facebook party now? Did I for real just invite 19 people I went to high school with and never talked to since, and one girl I’ve never met or talked to at all who lives in Mississippi but I thought she was cute so I added her?

What about the you’re hot request. Is someone requesting some of my hotness? Cuz, um, no? Just cuz I have an unlimited supply doesn’t mean I’m sharing. Sharing is for suckers and unpopular people. And even if I were in a generous mood, that crap wouldn’t be free. You think you can just have some just cuz you asked? Go to hell ugly Betty. You didn’t even “ask” ask. You just hit a freaking button. You think that deserves anything more than my spit? How bout you just take your loser, beauty pan handling to an employer and earn some cash for plastic surgery like the American way dictates. Frigging communist.

The Superpoke? pfff. more like the Super Joke. (eh?)

Backup Spouse? Awesome. So if your first pick at a spouse gets hit by a truck, decides to run off with his secretary or otherwise taps out, then I get to swing in and support your aged fat ass and someone else’s annoying ass kids? De-nied.

Top friends? No. I don’t need my gaggle of former classmates and low degree acquaintances messaging me to passive aggressively ask me why asking X or Y was accepted and not them. That is what myspace is for. Spreading butter on toast? that’s what knives are for. Top Friends? serves no purpose. no good can come of this.

Entourage invitation hm? Okay. But only if I get to be Turtle. or, shit, no. I meant Ari. I wanna be Ari. Ari Gold - Gold Standard - You got Gold baby. I deserve to be Ari. I said Jeremy Piven was gonna go places since his supporting role in that Seinfeld episode and knew that when Ellen was canceled, he’d be back. Dammit. Its too late. Now I’m Turtle. Facebook sucks. Just like life. As Turtle.

I tried to find out more about these things on Facebook’s FAQ. Their staff flacks are doing a good job greasing the propaganda mil. Get a load of this spin.

Applications are tools that allow you interact with your friends and networks.

Ya, I think I was allowed to do that already. Asshole.

Examples of applications that Facebook has built are Photos, Notes, and Groups.

Truly unique innovations. With presidents like those, I’m totally pumped for what marvels are in store.

Now, Facebook allows third parties to develop applications that abide by your privacy settings and live within the site.

They live now? Do I have to feed them? or are they just parasites that suckle on the life force of your unique profile you fueled with memories and information about your life as a young adult in exchange for offering a service you didn’t know you needed until they told you to. I think we both know the answer. (in case you didn’t though - I was strongly implying it was the 2nd thing I said).

Adding applications allows you to expand the usefulness of the site.

Liar.

Check out our Application Directory for a list of applications that you can add.

Notice how they say it as a command instead of adding a friendly “if you want” or “if you so choose” or “if you have nothing better to do with your life cuz you staved off growing up by going to college and are trying to further delay it as much as possible by searching for any meaningless way to enhance your ridiculous Facebook profile”.

Facebook… you disgust me.