Richardland Blog » Food

Birthday Cake Ice Cream

richard — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 00:27:28 +0000

science is amazing. God bless every one of the chemical compounds used in this Birthday Cake flavored ice cream that make each bite a fkking party in my mouth.

Blue Bell is the only company I know that makes amazing flavors like cotton candy and birthday cake for home storage but they’re not nation wide. for overpriced cups of it, Coldstone or a similar creamery/gourmet ice cream place will have the more exotic stuff like this. theres bits of cake and sprinkles in it to make it indistinguishable (as far as your brain is concerned) from the real thing. its magic in every spoonful.

Update:-I take that back. it’s not sprinkles. i should have never said sprinkles. its those flat edible cake-confetti things. i regret the error.

Original Recipe: “Blood of Life” Smoothie

richard — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 22:21:10 +0000

Original tagline to post was “this stuff is guaranteed to make it look like youre peeing blood and sh#tting abortions” but was decided that that was in bad taste. so…I didnt say that.

Ingredients:

2 full (cooked) beets
1 cup frozen berries (mix)
6 slices frozen peaches
1/2 a yellow squash
Quarter cup pomegranate juice
Quarter cup cranberry juice
1/2 cup orange juice
1 serving Noni juice
3 spoonfuls Chia seeds
2 spoonfuls flax seed powder
1/2 Grape Zipfizz & 1/2 Orange Zipfizz (energy drink mix powder)
1 scoop Strawberry Muscle Milk powder

Comes out to a lot of liquid. I make around lunchtime and drink a 1/2 glass by itself to start, another half with food a little later and the rest goes in the fridge to have 1 full glass with dinner tonight.

Yakisoba Ruined Christmas

richard — Sun, 25 Dec 2011 22:14:53 +0000

First World Problems.

almost as bad as this one:

Protip on binge-eating:

richard — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 21:24:04 +0000

Eating a gallon of cookie dough ice cream has all the flavor of eating raw cookie dough with only half the throwing-up!

What to do with all these freakin eggs?

richard — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 19:39:14 +0000

I’m house-sitting for another week and there are 5 chickens here that lay 4 eggs every day (theyre all hens so one of those bitches is freeloading and hiding her shit somewhere). I cant eat em as fast as they can drop em – sooooo… what can I do with 2 dozen eggs that doesnt involve that thing women do in the kitchen (kutching? kooking? whatever its called)?

I already gave a dozen to the neighbor we talk to. Maybe i’ll use another dozen to egg the other neighbors house. but then what? THEN. WHAT??

Food is good for eating

richard — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 06:34:26 +0000

Impossible Eggs

richard — Fri, 12 Aug 2011 21:19:34 +0000

Just ate 5 eggs and can confirm that Gaston from Beauty & the Beast is a god damn liar…being a muscular high-activity Frenchman with a strong metabolism or not – it is fucking impossible to eat five dozen eggs every god damn day.

Waking on Empty

richard — Sun, 05 Jun 2011 16:44:07 +0000

Waking up early makes me hungry as fkkkk. I downed 5 chicken fingers, a double cheeseburger, fries, vanilla milkshake and salad just 6 hours ago and i feel empty and starving.

Cuz my eyes were bigger than my stomach last night, i got two cheeseburgers and someone else had 2 chicken fingers left so i just had that breakfast of champions. still hungry but gonna try to wait it out and see if it passes.

I didn’t have anything to eat or drink yesterday and i was sweating in hot sun and hiked a 2 1/2 mile half vertical mountain trail in the afternoon so before i went home i loaded up on the food intake. im still super hungry, but calming the starvation pains with a liter of coconut water.

The miserable life of Veganism

richard — Wed, 01 Jun 2011 05:23:03 +0000

This is a recent status update from a friend on Facebook:

I realized the severity of my veganism today while waiting for a bus on a manhattan street corner. I was overcome by an aroma I couldn’t place but made me feel safe and brought me back to a time when life was carefree simple. It took me about 7 minutes to realize it was pepperoni…

I copy and pasted the text instead of taking a screenshot cuz I don’t want to draw attention to the person, but rather the fact that veganism is a horrible self imposed torture that serves no valuable purpose and is a ruiner of lives.

Donut Diet Acceptability

richard — Wed, 25 May 2011 20:13:12 +0000

Donuts need to be eaten during non-human hours to be justified as food. Otherwise you’re just having dessert without a meal preceding it. but when its really early AM or really late at night your body just needs a ring of sugar carbs to comfort itself so its okay.

It’s shaped like a circle cuz it’s hugging you. letting you know its gonna be okay… you’ll get through this with the power of saturated fat. ?