Is Myspace dead?…idk. you tell me… here is a screenshot of a comment I just opened. within it you will find a 17 year old boy whose main picture is him taking a dump, asking me (with assurance that he won’t be offended) if I am a top or a bottom..
turns out i can’t fault the young man, as when i investigated his page, it was clear that merely allowing him on my friends list is legit suspicion that i was cruising…. is Myspace dead? *takes off glasses*… Gentleman.. I rest my case.
Is it gay that I wanna see Justin Bieber make out w/ the 1996 version of Taylor Hanson?
mmm[bop]. prolly shouldnt repeat that so ima tell you one time.
When I first moved to LA I met a shy but very nice transexual boy-to-girl at a party. Smash cut to 5 minutes ago and someone RickRolled me LemonParty style with a link allegedly to “a hot chick i might know” having no way of knowing that yes, I did in fact “know” this person who is now apparently doing tranny porn.
Since I’m not gonna link to the very NSFW pictures on this page, ill just pain the picture for you: everything female, from hair to implants, but with a very prominent penis… charming.
It’s good to reconnect with old acquaintances…
The act isn’t anything new, but more of my associates than usual have been doing this shit lately: the “hey, i just thought i would contact you for the sole purpose of letting you know i am doing something damaging or dangerous to myself”. annoying. not only for the obvious “why?” factor, but also cuz i care about people, so its just cruel. like they’re taunting me that i’m more concerned about them than they are. gross.
devinbuttfingers: I’m all drunk n shit
devinbuttfingers: Drunk driving
misterawesome10: quit it
devinbuttfingers: Nah
devinbuttfingers: I’m good
misterawesome10: not amusing
devinbuttfingers: I don’t really give a fuck
misterawesome10: see, what’d i tell you about this… i like it so much better when i dont have to block you
devinbuttfingers: Whatever man
devinbuttfingers: I don’t care
devinbuttfingers: Bye!
misterawesome10: yea yea. but i do. later.
devinbuttfingers: You’re a nobody, do what you fucking please
misterawesome10: thanks for the permission. idk what’d id do without it
devinbuttfingers: K
i never know what they’re trying to accomplish either. cry for help? doubtful. i think they’re just punk ass dramaqueens who dont have anyone to talk to but don’t have the self security to be politely social so they think their only option is to randomly text, call or in this case phone-IM someone about how badz they’re beingz (omglulzuguyzzz).
Luckily I’m not really friends with this person, but you all still know how I bond with random people so that fact doesnt change a whole lote really. once I spend more than 8 seconds on you, I’ve made an investment so I still dont want you to fkkn DIE. or brag about how you’re ruining your life, which stupid California bitches are constantly doing… sigh. Its not like I ever pretend that the privilege of talking to me is a great honor to these dopes, but cutting them off or putting them on temporary blockage if they’re gonna be self destructive suck@lifers and proudly message me with late-breaking-updates about it is just…necessary. like. wtf.
Same dude messaged me again about an hour later:
devinbuttfingers: Night ugly
misterawesome10: glad you made it home ok
devinbuttfingers: I’m watching Orphan
devinbuttfingers: Eating donuts
devinbuttfingers: Mmmmm
devinbuttfingers: Shopping tomo
devinbuttfingers: And then hitting the gay club up
devinbuttfingers: !!!!
devinbuttfingers: Yay
devinbuttfingers: Omg
devinbuttfingers: I’m sooo excited
devinbuttfingers: I broke so many fucking necks tonite
ya….
UPDATE: the next day, 1PM his time (I’m in Hawaii where its still morning at the moment) he messages me AGAIN to tell me – what? what do you think?… well if you guessed:
devinbuttfingers: I’m neckbreakin as usual
devinbuttfingers: Haha
you win nothing.
UPDATE 2: idk why this gentleman is intent on picking a fight instead of sticking to making peoples necks broke this fine Halloween day, but about an hour later he messaged me AGAIN:
devinbuttfingers: Fuck you
misterawesome10: why are you so nasty lately. enough already
devinbuttfingers: I was talking
devinbuttfingers: And you weren’t replying
devinbuttfingers: So goodbye
misterawesome10: cuz you’re being a dick. or.. an ass. or. idk how to convey “jerk” without things that are probably compliments to you, but whatever.
misterawesome10: bye
devinbuttfingers: Hey I’m just gonna go ahead and block you on here
devinbuttfingers: Take care
devinbuttfingers signed off at 9:52 AM.
devinbuttfingers is offline and may receive your IMs when signing back in.
devinbuttfingers signed on at 9:52 AM.
misterawesome10: you did it wrong
devinbuttfingers: How
misterawesome10: im sure youll figure it out
devinbuttfingers: I hit block
devinbuttfingers: Wtf
devinbuttfingers: Oh ok
devinbuttfingers: I just gotta exit this convo
misterawesome10: ok
devinbuttfingers: Adios
Aw. sadz… no one likes to be dumped. especially when you’re so awesome. If only he hadn’t dumped me, i’d have given him THIS little gem: instead of rehashing the lame “neck brake” line all night (meaning he’s making other gay guys turn their heads for want of tapping that), why not step it up and say “breakin necks of Superman faster than Christopher Reeve’s horse”.
What…too esoteric to be funny? hey, fuck you guys. that’s a hilarious reference. If Family Guy did it, you’d all crack up like little bitches. BITCHES ya hear! *cries*
Nah, but fur reelz: he coulda had that. I woulda GIVEN him that. as a fkkn present. but now i’m gone…
I’m considering turning this into a Halloween costume… wudda you think?
Richar900: [link to a video containing description in next IM]
Richar900: just an old white guy jerking off to fat black women at the beach. business as usual
dickkead: riiiight
dickkead: not at all what i expected
dickkead: but uh, for future reference, dicks aren’t really my thing
dickkead: i likea the ladies
Richar900: and what female comic besides sarah silverman is actually funny?
Richar900: exactly. so when you wanna laugh at something, its not gonna be through a female unless its unintentional
dickkead: there’s a few
dickkead: sarah silverman annoys me personally
Richar900: me too. but she also cracks me up
dickkead: you’ve seriously stumped me
dickkead: i can’t believe i can’t think of a funny stand up style woman
Richar900: mhm….
dickkead: i guess wanda sykes is my best guess
dickkead: though she can make my ears hurt
Richar900: ya, but its a gray area with teh blacks. cuz they’re funny cuz of their attitude. lesssomuch their material.
Richar900: although i did chuckle when she said on some talk show that she was gonna put a bunch of fake money in a sack and carry it around on halloween for her Oprah costume
dickkead: hah
dickkead: i’d prefer even the worst woman stand up comic to watching a guy jerk his dick though
Richar900: cant be so cockophobic or youll miss out on too much lulzes. the focal point should be the passers by. unfortunately, the dick is necessary to show/prove what is going on exactly
dickkead: eh, i’m straight but not narrowminded, but that doesn’t mean i ned an eyefull of cock for a small laugh
dickkead: need*
Richar900: that is exactly what i require or i cant laugh =/
Richar900: (i forgot to mention that i look up pictures of dicks when i watch Silverman)
dickkead: you look up pictures of dicks regardless
dickkead: infact, your NAME is dick
Richar900: infact, YOUR [screen]name is dick
Renholder5x: Did you see this http://somewhatdamaged.net/?p=2332
Richar900: saw the post but didnt watch. meant to do so later
Renholder5x: it’s an instant classic
Renholder5x: or maybe I’m just batshit insane
MEANWHILE… I received this…
CaptSuperGay69: You like my tats?
ATTENTION: Direct IM session initiated.
CaptSuperGay69: Whaddya think?
Richar900: catchy I suppose. I like it.
…hopefully you saw what happened there… if not:
Renholder5x: ?
Richar900: god DAMMIT
Richar900: i accidentally replied to that in the wrong IM…
…several seconds later:
Cyanide Tictacs: i hate aim so much right now
Richar900: i guarantee i hate it more than you right now
Cyanide Tictacs: i was talking to someone who talked a bunch of shit about my friend and i lost what she said.
Cyanide Tictacs: and the friend that was being talked shit about considered the shit talker as their best friend.
Richar900: i was talking to a friend about a youtube music video while also talking to a gay guy who sent me a picture of his erect penis without warning. i responded to who i thought was the youtube convo that it was catchy and i liked it. i had the wrong IM open and had responded to the gay dude…
Richar900: i win
Am i a “g0y”? are you a g0y? well that all depends: do you enjoy rubbing your penis against someone elses until you both climax in a burst of ecstasy that is just a sign of super close male bonding friendship and not at all “gay”? mmmmm? yes!? then you sir, are a g0y!
*confetti* Me? notsomuch.
From what appears to be the official g0y website (on what appears to be a geocities page): a g0y is a “guy into guys, not gays” and if you think that’s confusing then just wait, cuz it gets better, then slightly worse, then gross, but then better again…
G0ys are different levels of dudes attracted to dudes but not chick-dudes and thus aren’t interested in anal sex since that particular act of bromance is just a simulation of heterosexual sex, making the anus as a makeshift vagina. so really, g0ys are so gay that they’re above gay – wanting absolutely nothing to do with anything that is similar to male-female intercourse and hate being called gay cuz they may also be bi and dont want to be associated with faggy gay culture and all that bullshit.
So how do *i* know all this? mmwell… my new myspace friend of course. duh. he added me on myspace after enjoying my posts on here and introduced me to the g0y lifestyle with a few websites and explanations.
So bascially… someone was a reader of my blog and thought to themselves “Hey, you look like a guy who would DEFINITELY be down for some nude dude fun timez. you know…sexual activity with another guy – but without anal penetration – am i right??? HIGH FIVE!”
…w..tf? sigh. if only I were more tolerant and open minded. or something.
I changed my Myspace display name to “Richard…(but you can call me Dick)“, because my name is Richard. but people like to call me Dick. and they can… apparently that wasn’t the message I was perceived to have been sending. somehow i stumbled into some international gay calling.
I’m guessing that these people are just searching for “dick” in a display name on Myspace and coming across my sexy ass and naturally wanting to get all up in that, but still. really guys. gross.
Without any suggestion of sexual implication, the messages from dudes and chubby skanks came rolling in asking and commenting about my penis. asking if they can see it, do things to it, or just anything about it about it at all, like its favorite romantic comedy or something – idk.
My grandfathers name was Dick and i’d like to live in a society where such a name is acceptable again. Notsomuch likely the way current treads are heading…
The messages came from mostly young guys too, which i dont know exactly what to take away from that factoid but the two screenshots posted here are from profiles that say their age is 16…
More depressing about this is that ive received messages from girls inquiring about my display name, showing no sign that they know that “Dick” is anything other than a penis.
One girl even messaged me admitting as such, asking why im letting people call me dick because “a dick is a thing. not a name”. I responded and asked if she knew what the name of our most recent former Vice President is and of course she said no. I sent her Dick Cheney’s Wikipedia and she still didn’t get it, asking me why i sent her a picture of “some old guy”… she didnt even notice there were words on the page…
How do people even get this stupid?
Kori is gay in real life. so like…gross…
UPDATE:
Bad Behavior has blocked 148 access attempts in the last 7 days.
