Scroll down to Terminology: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bear_(gay_culture)

Some slang terms relating to the bear community include the following:
Bear run – a gathering or circuit party for bear/cub types and their admirers.
Chaser – short for chubby chaser, or a smooth guy who likes hairy men.
Chub – a heavy set gay man. May or may not be a bear (chubby bear is a common term).
Cub – a younger (or younger looking) version of a bear, typically but not always with a smaller frame. The term is sometimes used to imply the passive partner in a relationship.[13] Can be hairy or hairless.
Daddy bear – an older bear, sometimes looking for a daddy/son relationship with a younger man.
Goldilocks – a female, often heterosexual, who is often in the company of bears (a bear’s fag hag).
Otter – a man who is hairy, but is not large or stocky – typically thinner, swimmer’s build, or with lean muscle or no muscle.
Panda bear – a bear of Asian descent.
Pocket bear – a short bear.
Polar bear – a silver- or white-haired bear.
Wolf – a term for a muscle bear who is a rugged outdoorsy or biker type.
Woof – a greeting used to express physical attraction (sometimes when a bear sees another bear in public).

This list also taught me “woof”, which is something ive been seeing in myspace & video comments and at the beginning or end of private messages and emails for years. i even commented on it sometimes like “wtf? are you saying im a dog??” and no one ever fkkn explained it to me! i feel so betrayed.

Picture courtesy of MissAshleyPants

This makes me have to reveal the following: last week i almost posted that select “Power Viewers” may request video topics and i’ll cover whatever they tell me to, but that to achieve PowerViewer status you had to complete a list of loyalty tasks. i nixed it cuz it involved math and follow ups, but im looking into having a script coded for my website that will let people register and accumulate points to which they can redeem for such things… isnt that delightfully redick? im excited for it.

UPDATE:

Wouldnt that be the reverse though? facebook is the classier more uptight suburb and myspace is the balls-out ghetto. i wasnt thinking of the private/filter thing as a worry about others, either. more just a general code of conduct rule.
Also had to tell Ashley that ya, i got it – I was just too busy firing off an email to my programmer telling him to add a dicksucking punch card to the points system programming to respond right away.

stay away from Justin, Tony. i’ll not have you rewarding such militant-flirting tactics. teach em they’ll get more flies with honey than with vinegar.

Justin Equality Michael Heilig-Palin
Vitamin D isnt a Vitamin. Vitamin D is a hormone. It assists the body in use of calcium in conjunction with Phosphorus. If you don’t have enough Phosphorus the D is rendered Useless and deposed of in the Liver. Too much D, in any case, can …cause a state of Hypocalcemia along with other issues. It also causes kidney damage and other tissue damages. Have a look here http://books.nap.edu/openbook.php?record_id=13050&page=939

Case studies.

Anyway I am NOT flirting on Tony! He is WAY WAY WAY too young for me! I was just being funny.

Richard Bushnell
I like the long winded mini-documentary on Vitamin D like it has anything to do with anything. Hey, guess what? water isnt really water. Its hydrogen and oxygen and if you overdose on it you can damage your brain or die. So the hell what? none of that changes the fact that most people dont drink enough of it just like none of your “look how much I know about Vitamin D” posturing changes that most people dont get enough.

Tony’s not too young for you. You were being funny in the sense of “nah lol. im just playin.. unless…? lol nah.. just playin… unless you… you wanna maybe? – lol, nah..”. we all know how it works.

Justin Equality Michael Heilig-Palin
Oh haha no no. Thats not my thing. Im playful but its really not my thing. I think Tony knows that. silly boys

Richard Bushnell
He doesn’t and you want him. quit insulting my boy by saying you dont totally think HE’S the real Vitamin D-[licious].

Justin Equality Michael Heilig-Palin
LMAO I’m not insulting him. Im just not trying to have someone make things appear to be what they are not.

Richard Bushnell
Okay, so you wanna jump him, but you weren’t TRYING to in that specific instance so thats what you took issue with? i’ll accept that as an answer.

Justin Equality Michael Heilig-Palin
haha. ur persistent so Im gonna stop debating you and leave it at.. I do not want tony as anything more than a platonic FB friend. I have no sexual or romantic desires to him at all, even a little, what-so-ever. I have never even met the kid. Thank You

Richard Bushnell
dislike

UNLESS: explanation B is that Justin thinks im co-flirting and he’s lying about his attraction to T-bone so as not to create conflict. that would be okay. im gonna go with that.

Justin Equality Michael Heilig-Palin
LMAO dont be so intent on me sleeping with someone and you wont have anything to dislike! Buahahaaa

Richard Bushnell
not sleeping with. no one said sleeping with. DESIRE TO sleep with is whats at issue. i want everyone to wanna get all up in this Keen-lime-pie over here. not actually DO it. gross.

Justin Equality Michael Heilig-Palin
oh wow… co-flirting??

Richard Bushnell
gawd. just make me happy already and say youd totally pogo TeenKeen and we’ll all accept the admission as not being a contractual obligation or message of intent: just desire – or not even desire, just “id hit it”-dom. i will not rest till this has happened. and i have coffee.

Justin Equality Michael Heilig-Palin
LMAO well as restless as you may be… I dont desire to pogo anyone’s stick. sorry :-/ Its not just tony… Im just into getting ith any guy at all at this time… Does that appease you oh master? lmao

Richard Bushnell
dammit. I was SO ready to be all over that “just not into anyone right now” BS till you played on my narcissism and called me master. i dont even remember what i was talking about now. shit.

Tony Keen
Richard. I never said i was unionizing with anyone. I finally decided I should at least get to say something. Tanning Is Good For You In MANY Ways, But Can Lead To VERY FEW Side Effects. The Pros Outweigh The Cons. That was the main argument. That Is All. I Win. And I Am Not Sleeping, Unionizing, and/or Flirting with ANYONE!

Richard Bushnell
I didnt say you had to. duh. just that Justin had to want to. thats all ive ever saidzes.

Tony Keen
?”Tony can make sweet love with Jusin now”??!!!!!!??

Richard Bushnell
That is me allowing it since before I said you werent allowed to. duh. I didnt say you HAD to. I said that I lifted the ban I previously put on it. gawd.

Tony Keen
Very Well.

Justin Equality Michael Heilig-Palin
Oh Ok fine… Tony get your ass over here… Bring Lube, rubbers, and some barry white… That way these fuckers will be silent… Hell we can even pop some vitamin d to get in the mood!

Richard Bushnell
I Win!!!

I only saw 2 Na’avi’s/Avatars. One male, one female – not together. VERY disappointed.. the girl was not topless and did not have a Jake Sulley boyfriend. Zero other Avatar costumes… wtf guys? You can do homemade Transformers, T-Rex’s, Ogre’s and skull ghost things but not the enhancement exoskeleton that the bad guy had? WEAKsauce.

Lady Gaga costumes might be silly for home Halloween parties but wearing them out in public is lame and lacking. While everyone else puts on actual costumes that resemble or represent other things OR slutty outfits to represent and sexualize other things, you’re going as a celebrity who does nothing BUT wear costumes and slutty outfits. It’s Halloween… “My costume is that singer who wears costumes” only works as an inside thing with friends or if you REALLY go for it and do the meat dress or something epic.

Saw a drunk girl in a slutty ladybug outfit yelling and barely keeping her balance while weaving down the street through the people. I ran over to a police officer at the corner monitoring the crowd and asked him to keep an eye on her or go check her out on account of she was holding a baby…

A young gentleman dressed as a slutty blonde girl says to me “boy, you fine, and I’m a girl, soooo, whatchu say you treat me like one tonight?”. Very cute fella. great bone structure and even skin tone. If I was even a little bit turned on by dudes I woulda pretended his name was Vegas and let what happens in him stay in him (i just made that up), but alas… the bad news is i’m not gay, but the good news is that he gave A+ oral.

While walking past a car with the passenger side door open parked on a curb of a dimly lit, mostly empty side street:
Girl: [in ruffle dress and top falling off in a manner suggesting it was recently removed and haphazardly put back on] hey! HEY, come here.
Me: whas up?
Girl: heyyy [wide smile]….you wanna get high?
Me: no thanks
Girl: you wanna fuck me?
Me: [leans forward slightly to get a better look at her. she's moderately attractive. looks up at the dude behind the wheel staring forward blankly] not right now, thanks.
Girl: [gesturing to dude behind wheel] he’s cool, don’t worry about it, its totally fine.
Dude behind the wheel: [gives international "whatever. i dont give a fuck" shoulder-wrist-chin tilt gesture]
Me: ……y’all have a nice night now. [briskly power-walks away]

settin inta ah nice Epsom-salt bubble bath with my tray of butter and Apple [computer] remote to soak for a spell n watch some Hulu while i eat an artichoke and bowl of noodles. i heart my life.

It produced the following comments from the following people:

John Gogel
thats not gay at all

Jaimee Jay
I looked up “homosexual” in the dictionary and found your pic right next to it

David Anthony MacNeil
Really? Because I found it next to “metrosexual”!

This is a classic mistake you should all learn from. These guys shoot their gay wads way too soon. See, if you bust it out on “watching The Cleveland Show while eating dinner in a muscle relaxer bath”, then what will you have to bring when im slathering up in baby oil listening to Lady Gaga in my room equipped with flashing green lights around the ceiling in preparation to watch the last DHW (desperate houswives) on my dvr while i eat strawberries and Cool Whip in bed?

nothing. cuz you lack discipline and fail at endurance. like these two.

The Facebook-status comments continue after David’s (an actual homosexual) reply that actions like dinner in a bubble bath is “metrosexual” (slang for a heterosexual male that engages in self maintenance and hygiene more typical of a female) and not “homosexual” are shown to be controversial:

Jaimee Jay
No, homosexual. Justin Timerlake is metrosexual, David Beckham is mextrosexual..Richard Bushnell is homosexual, clearly into men.

John Gogel
i like her, o and i would call ther [sic] person who says “im slathering up in baby oil listening to Lady Gaga in my room equipped with flashing green lights around the ceiling in preparation to watch the last DHW (desperate houswives) on my dvr while i eat strawberries and Cool Whip in bed” a FLAMING HOMO who plays the skin flute

Jaimee is just releasing sexual tension toward me, so thats fine and to be expected, but Johns horrible comeback of “a really gay, Gay, who does gay sex things” is a perfect illustration of the kind of “you got nuthin left” redundancy i mentioned, thereby proving my point.

Enter Jon Gatto, who does internetz right and plays along:

Jonathan Gatto
shock and awe shock and awe. And lets not downplay the role of suburban women and their everyday trials and tribulations in a cult a sac environment. It isnt easy dealing with some of the heart wrenching and sometimes dicey situations of our soccer momish society of DHW. Theirs is a strength some would only dream of holding for a fraction of a second. Gonna skip the baby oil slatheration though.(well maybe not when Gabriele is on screen yumm)

In addition to the fact that “slatheration” should enter everyones vocabulary immediately, this exchange yields some interesting data in how exactly the “does Richard secretly love male buttholes?” question is handled. It’s raised by the 2 commenters with no romantic experience with females who quickly agree on “definitely gay” as their common conclusion while the openly homosexual says “definitely not gay” and the dude thats engaged ups the ante on the alleged gayness by at least 40%.

I see your 40 and raise you 60. your move, internet…

Can I ask a STUPID question? are you gay or straight?
because it does not matter either wayt to me
just wondering

First, I always like the “can i ask you a question?” question since, duh – they just did. Like how people say “are you gonna eat that?” while reaching for the thing they’re asking about or how my uncle Ted used to ask if he could touch a womans breast in mid-fondle. “Can i ask a STUPID question?” is even worse. but “can I ask you a STUPID question?” followed immediately by the stupid question is more than just stupid. its… whatever stupid x2 is (im too stupid to know offhand).

Then there’s the whole concept of publicly asking whether someone sucks c#ck or not. It’s like “hey, your profile doesn’t say you’re gay and you don’t have any pictures kissing dudes or attending Clay Aiken concerts and your status updates never mention getting boned in the ass or anything, buuuuut… i still get the sneaking suspicion that you’re a fag. im going to ask – not that it matters – but just cuz i want to know if this feeling about you having sex with dudes is correct. not that it matters.” and naturally this wouldn’t be in a private message, cuz who you have sex with isn’t private or anything, especially if its not public knowledge. doy.

Look, i get it.. i get the “i wonder if he’s a homosexual” thing. I’m energetic, maintain appearance, and play a kind of PeeWee Hermen-esque child version of myself in my richardland videos. It can be confusing at first glance and unless you take the time to see what is going on, it all smells a bit of flamie-mcQueer Sauce. but if you REALLY want to know and REALLY can’t be bothered with scratching the surface of investigating my heterosexuality (not like i dont have a website and profile on every social networking site ever that comments on relationships, exploits or at very least attraction to females), then dude. show some tact.

This was the comment i responded with:

Can I ask a STUPID question? im going to go ahead and ask it before you say yes or no because i dont really give a crap about the answer. i just said that so i feel better about asking, cuz its like i asked your permission even though i really didnt.

are you a whore or not? because it does not matter either way to me well, it matters enough to ask on your public comments, but im not gonna judge your prostituting either direction. im just wondering if you fuck for money.

See girls (and its always a girl)? thats what you sound like. you’re saying “hey, you give off an appearance that makes me think this thing about your sex life. you dont publicly say it, so im just gonna publicly ask”. Again, its not the curiosity I’m mocking. that’s normal, human, acceptable, etc. just don’t try to solve your curiosity in a such a retarded manner or you open the doors to ridicule.

UPDATE: Naturally, she handled it badly, got offended, wrote a big long rant about how I “could have just deleted the comment or answered that its personal”, blah blah blah. except its NOT personal. and i left the comment there because it reflects badly on her, not me. but she deleted the comment off my page. I don’t understand why.. why post it publicly if you’re just going to chicken out and get rid of it?

UPDATE 2: I’ve been unfriended and unfollowed on twitter… Today I was hated on for being straight. #No Hate

UPDATE 3: here comes the hate on Twitter…

I haven’t had someone display this level of un-selfaware hypocrisy in awhile. It’s fascinating. She thinks there’s nothing wrong with asking ME about who I bang, but is outrageously outraged that I do the same to her. the reason, presumably is that she finds the thought that someone would look at her and suspect she receives money for intercourse offensive even though I specified that I do not find it offensive myself (thus making it okay for me to ask). So does it occur to her that maybe someone else might find it just as offensive, regardless of her own opinion on the subject, that she would ask them if they have anal sex with men?  evidently not. because i “is [sic] just a angry [sic], think he is somebody, ASSHOLE!”. and this is not another 14 year old emo-whore online, mind you. this woman is 40 years old… ya…

It’s early in the year so there is still a chance to be beaten, but so far this c#nt is in the running for the “most unintentionally ironic statement of the year” award in saying “Next time u need 2 think before u type back 2 me…”

UPDATE 4: She’s gone back to multiple tweeting, lying about me. she’s claiming i got my “friends” to “spam” her (thats what she calls 2 people on twitter responding to my tweets about this saga) and falsly claiming that my facebook profile was changed after all this to reflect that im “interested in women”. sorry whore, but ive never changed that part of my profile. not now, not recently, not ever. you fail.