From left to right: It starts with an appropriate level of joy expression for the venue, then as we move over to Brody we tick it up a notch to extra “look at me, i’m posing for a picture” style of smiling and then… RowRow bringin in the “sticking my face out of a car window on the highway” posture that forces a smile so big that any more of it and his face would melt off.
Taken at a “Dinner with Santa” event.

Riley (7): “that’s awesome!”
Brody (4): “I gonna be so nice to that baby!”
Rowan (5): “I THINK ITS RETARDED! AND STUPID!”

I’ll have to sit them down for a “kids say the darndest things” style interview and ask them all about it when I’m there for Thanksgiving in a month.

Rowan is the one flashing his wiener and interrupting in this video of me and Riley from 2 months ago:

Rowan the Seaweed monster

Brody, sharkin it up.

My tongue is blue from an Icee and the scream of terror is of course real.
Aidan (nephew), who just turned 16 but looks 25 already, is showing off.
Rowan (nephew) is displaying a similar look of terror that is also genuine. He loved the ride though.
and then it gets weird…
the couple on the bottom right are unknowns/not with us.
The couple on the left is my sister in-law Sarah and brother Casey and yes she is biting him… It was mentioned at the end of the slide but the proof is captured on video that this weirdos evolutionary panic response is to clutch and bite her mate… Make your own conclusions.

Not seen here: baby Brody was just half an inch too little to ride so his parents stayed out with him. too bad, he woulda loved it. Nephew Riley, 6, went on it the first time but didnt want to go again. He closed his eyes for most of the rides – even the 3D Spiderman cartoon ride, but finally opened up to bravery at the very last ride of the day – Harry Potter, which was the fastest, scariest one we went on but he liked it.

More gems from my week with the younger nephews:

“you stink butt toilet poop! im gonna fart in yor unda-wear!” & “you’re a butt and you stink like butt, BUTT Stink!”
- Rowan Bushnell, 4

“untle Richard. um. um. uh whats..uh whats ‘gay’? – [fake answer] – “haha. im gay! im gay im gay! haha. im so gayyyy!” – [real answer] – “um.. i dont think thats rilly it cuz if 2 boys kissed eachother they’d prolly go tu jail”.
- Riley Bushnell, 6

“Instead a Easter they should call it Ster-Eee cuz you STIR the chocolate and then you EAT it, so Ster-ea, not Ea-ster…”
- Riley Bushnell, 6

“Touch that again and it’s gonna rain spank-bombs like a Giant’s tears after he found out he wasn’t invited to a birthday party”
- uncle Rich, layin down tha law.

I think the oldest, Riley will be okay and might have a jockish rouged thing going on later in life, and the youngest little droolhead is too hard to tell, though his resemblances to my father make me sad.

But this snotface Rowan appears to have the most head-turner potential and it’s gonna be a huge bummer if he grows up all weird in the face or just kinda inbred Picaso smushed up or something, all of which are entirely possible. His mom is trying him out in the model world a little and hopefully that will set him on the right track of diet [throwing up], exercise (performance enhancing drugs) and an undeserved sense of entitlement and self importance that facilitates being totally hot like his uncle Rich.

From there we headed to McDonalds where I was able to point out to him the importance of doing well in school, as the lady who served us had to make her 3 kids wait at a table until she got off work… from her job at McDonalds. 3 kids. just saying.

Next stop: strip mall down the road where we’ll have my dad pick us up. In the mean time? Dalla Stooooore yo.