Esoteric is itself esoteric, making it an even douchier hipster word to use unless the context makes it necessary. It means not common knowledge – something that few people know.

The awkward pause after the “eff yu” reminded me of this a quote I made up and was gonna wait till I had an opp to say it in response to something relevant, but since I’ve never successfully pulled off a “save for later” line like that, i figured i better fire this one now while its fresh. It goes:
“That comedian brings the dryhumor lulz like i bring the awkward conversation lulls” — aaah?? nice, right??

UPDATE: MissAshleyPants illustrates the following advice/hypothetical thusly:

It’s hard being a single parent… of a single parent…

I couldn’t resist….

“Fondly had these monarchs dreamed one day their kingdoms to unite. Thus today
would they announce that Phillip [Chris], Hubert’s [Chris Wheeler] son and heir, to Stefan’s [Ashley] child would be betrothed. And so to her his gift he brought, and looked, unknowing, on his future
bride.” – Walt Disneys Sleeping Beauty, 1959

OR – DammitWheeler.com real life re-enactment…

In both February and December 08 I contracted fevers on visits through Missouri and fled to my parents house in Texas to recoup.

March 09 I had a cold and now August 09 another fever with flu-ish symptoms… still a defensible record of up-time vs down-time, but still – Chris Wheeler must never know of this…

That filthy little germ-wad claims he “never gets sick” (totally false btw. I’ve witnessed him coughing, weezing and moping around with fatigued grumpy sniffles on many occasions) and that I “always get sick” (false as exhibited by well kept record of health). He amplifies bug I catch into being evidence of my frailty so he can continue to sludge around his gutter lifestyle and be free of judgment. He’s one of these douchebags that uses the exception to the rule as evidence that the rule is a myth – most commonly represented in people with authority issues denouncing seat belts because they heard some person somewhere (they never quite know the details) died in a car accident because they were wearing a seat belt. That’s actually not even an analogy to illustrate a parallel belief vs tactic paradigm – Wheeler is a seat belt truther just as much as he is a believer that living cleanly makes you weak and forces you to get sick more.

If healthy people contract a virus once a year then healthy diet and exercise is revealed to be a meaningless fraudulent waste of a lifestyle according to Chris Wheeler.

Wheeler would just tell this kid “see? that’s what you get for eating all that healthy shit and washin ur damn hands all the time. jezus christ.”

Of course it doesn’t help that he somehow happens to find and read random science based articles that appear to support or at least evidence some possibility of these things so he can use them as incontrovertible proof for his crackpot theories. Like the 9/11 conspiracy morons who think the most eye-witnessed event in history actually played out differently than what everyone saw before their eyes and will use one person who was in a field at low visibility and still in shock of the event tells a news outlet that they saw “what looked like a missile” – all of a sudden its case closed. See? one guy in a field saw a tubed object flying at a high rate of speed at an angle where the wings and windows weren’t entirely evident – ergo, 9/11 was an inside jeaarb.

Wheeler does the same thing. They’re basically the same person, except the 9/11 conspiro usually went to collage.

I must cure these ailments immediately and Chris Wheeler must never known these events ever occurred or i’ll have helped add another notch into his smug “people don’t believe me but i’m right about everything” delusional views of health and cleanliness.

I’ve never been to a themed event like a car show or.. festival of beer. whats so festive about it? are there petting zoo’s and carnival rides? or is it boring and really just a low key gathering centered around beer the way Hanukkah is a “festival of lights”? do we have the Jews to thank for the beerfest as well? or is it the other direction and its a German Aryan thing probably, huh? – “probably, huh?” is one of those things that makes sense verbally but in text is just kindov a disaster. kindov like this blog.

shouldn’t someone have been killed for that tagline? i dont think they were cuz it would have been in the papers. but i really wish someone was forced to pay for that decision with their life… deep down i hope they did and it was just a really good cover up.

But seriously, what – i ask you in lou of googling – is this festival honoring beer? is it an ancient celebration started by medieval fraternities? i barely know what beer is, other than a drink that makes Wheeler punch holes in walls and get sad, and i think a festival is just a party, so.. wtf. a beer festival is just a 4th of July party that replaces the brats and burgers with different kinds of beer?

is it ridiculous that im a grownass man and am asking questions about wtf a beerfest is through a childish naivete? did i just really use “naivete” in a sentence?