I don’t need real food anymore

As I have yet to figure out an acceptable solution to Saturdays car situation, I remain at my estate in the inland hills across from Malibu, a solid 40 minutes north of my friends in Los Angeles, effectively stranding me here for several days all alone.

Oh no! Imma starve, right?? Wrong. Thanks to Amazon Prime 2-day Shipping – I have my food delivered doorstep style, yo. And by “food” I mean: Coconut water, fruit snacks and an assortment of vitamins and supplements. Add that to deliverable hot meals and i’m pretty much set for life. I may never leave this house again, frankly. Especially since my salad pills came today (5 pills of these a day and its like eating 2 servings of vegetables. hollaaaa).

Y’all think you’re so cool with your “grocery store” shopping n shit. psh. bitches. i’ve got multi-vites, antioxidant supps, frozen fruit, 2 single serving greek yogs left and now a fricken garden in pill form. me & this pizza i ordered are gonna be aaaaawl-riiite

A balanced diet spread across the food groups is for suckers anyway. i’ll probably switch to just supplements&junkfood thing permanently. jelly? mmm…jelly…. mmm. bread… dammit. this is kindov lame :/

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