It Should Be Illegal To Be This Adorable…

But it isn’t. So there ain’t shit you can do about it, coppers. #FkkThePolice.

Seriously though. It’s not right and I know it. But I can’t stop. I can physically if I try really really hard but that only takes care of half of the problem and aside from that being too much effort, it isn’t moral. Sure, I would love to just be one of you Regulars for a day and live in peace without this angelic glow around thy crown. But at what cost? Who is served by robbing the public of such a service as my existence?

Yes, it’s not fair. But what about the things others have that I don’t? Is it fair that you are able to lie at will, while I am unable to bend the purity of my honesty? Is it fair that so many others are able to let their bodies dip so vastly below the standards of strength, endurance, optimum health and peak performance while I am duty bound to maintaining this physique of a Greek god?

Of course it’s not fair. Life isn’t fair. You have some things and can do some things I can’t or don’t achieve and I have and do things that you can’t or choose not to achieve. That’s how it works, bae.

While it might seem like a good idea to use the law to force us Atlases to hunch into shrugs, it is vastly counter productive to your cause as we benefit society far more by standing tall in our excellence, leaving you to excel or lazily wallow or valiantly struggle in your own pursuits. Such is the only true fairness. Laws should not attempt to tame the achievements of the great, for despite the jealousy, they take nothing from others. We only add to the collective, making it that much greater with our presence.

I know these truths, though held to be self-evident, can illicit negative reactions spawned by unresolved issues of ones own senses of inadequacy, confidence, anxiety and self worth, but I implore you to remember that I am but a humble bearer of truth, merely seeking to educate the masses through my talents of wisdom, clarity and virtuous life I lead.

Don’t shoot the messenger. Unless it’s with a high quality DSLR, 12 megapixel model or above. <3