Alexa speakers coming to the Richardland North Hollywood Compound

Press Release. For immediate distribution.

At the time of this writing, the North Hollywood Richardland Campus & Command Center Compound (NoHome RCCCC) uses a wireless audio house speaker system consisting of 4 black towers residing into the Workroom, Kitchen, Grand Hall, and Topaz Terrace area directly outside the work room facing the pool. They are badass. But they are with problem. The audio quality is only decent instead of awesome and the wireless synchronization suffers from frequent crackling noises that are total vibe killers. This announcement is to let you, the underlings who enjoy the Campus amenities, that your Dear Leader has your ear comfort and audio experience in mind and will be improving this system with a new one. What will come of the existing speakers is yet to be determined. Maybe they can be repurposed in 4 corners of surround sound for the upcoming workout room & sauna in the garage and the static wont be a problem in those closed quarters.

On the subject of their replacement: Apple is releasing a smart speaker called HomePod in December that looks awesome. But they’re high-end and expensive so we’re not doing that… Google and a couple others have some variations but lets just cut Chase open – I mean, cut to the chase: I’m settling on the new Amazon Echo 2nd generation with release on October 31st to be the new system of choice.

I have purchased 3 of the ones above, plus a smaller Echo Dot, and a Fire TV stick to replace the first generation Apple TV in the Grand Hall.

You can do cool but impractical shit with it that we will literally never use like order Dominos or call an Uber but also useful stuff like asking it what time it is, telling it to raise the volume of whatever is playing, and play whats on your phone to the nearest speaker without having to plug that or another device into a hub like the current crackle-speakers require.

Each one can play independently so each room can have a different thing playing, or they can all be in unison. You can also use them as intercoms so I could still be in bed and be like “Alexa – drop in on the workroom” and order up a grilled cheese.

I hope you enjoy this new system and the continued efforts to make your time spent in all areas of the Compound a thoroughly enjoyable one for both your earholes and the other parts of your human meat husks. Transmission End.