Spam Flattery reminds me what a thirsty loser I am

Spam has a new tactic lately of complimenting its target and it must work tremendously because I’m one of the best humans alive with no needy inclinations or default desire to give a crap about what strangers think, but when I see an obviously robot generated message that alleges to think I’m great, a part of me desperately wants to believe it’s a real human enough to at least make triple super sure before deleting it.

The fact that still as an above-averagely accomplished grown ass adult I still have an involuntary initial reaction to latch onto these opportunities as if there were a shred of a chance they were both real and worth anything is a reminder that i’m still just a dorky kid who wants everyone to like him.

It would all be so ruthlessly tragic if I wasn’t so cognizant of how objectively fkking Awesome I am.