Nephew Aidan, doin it right… Purple is his lay-dey, obvs.
Big pimpin. the Bushnell way…
Coons & Rocks + Chicks & C#cks
Posted in: Adventures
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Birthday Cake Ice Cream
Posted in: Adventures
science is amazing. God bless every one of the chemical compounds used in this Birthday Cake flavored ice cream that make each bite a fkking party in my mouth.
Blue Bell is the only company I know that makes amazing flavors like cotton candy and birthday cake for home storage but they’re not nation wide. for overpriced cups of it, Coldstone or a similar creamery/gourmet ice cream place will have the more exotic stuff like this. theres bits of cake and sprinkles in it to make it indistinguishable (as far as your brain is concerned) from the real thing. its magic in every spoonful.
Update:-I take that back. it’s not sprinkles. i should have never said sprinkles. its those flat edible cake-confetti things. i regret the error.
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Cats and Dogs
Posted in: Adventures
Dogs: “this person feeds me. protects me. loves me…. They must be God!”
Cats: “this person feeds me. protects me. loves me…. I must be God!”
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Unleashing the C-word
Posted in: thoughts
The question of “whats the problem with calling a bitch a c*nt” was raised today and there is a very important answer… to Americans.
It must be used in the rarest of circumstances or it is devalued. keep America strong! we dont want to be like Europe in economics OR language. over there its the name of products and friendly sayings and nicknames. we have a different tradition here and must preserve it – only unleashing the C-monster from our arsenal when we need to show a bitch we mean fuckin business.
[this message sponsored by the foundation for Continued Under-usage of Nasty Terms]
Fun side note: Microsoft released the Critical Update Notification Tool for Windows 98, but later changed the name to Critical Update Notification Utility to avoid using the unfortunate acronym…
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Attention Seekers
Posted in: thoughts
Unless i’m missing something here… this is kindov stupid…
I dont get it. why would that person care? wouldn’t the more useful thing to say be to the person being ignored: “while you are begging for attention from someone who doesnt want to give it to you, someone else is begging it from you while you ignore them”
UPDATE: The girl who posted this explains it as “It’s basically saying don’t ‘sleep on’ the idea that someone is there…bcuz someone ELSE could come give them what you wouldn’t.”
That makes more sense. I was thinking the person doing the ignoring didnt care about the other person but instead its a caution against a situation where you do care or could care but you’re friend-zoning them or something and could later be disappointed when they give up and move on.
First i thought – isnt the whole point that you dont care, so who cares when they move on? — but the other way to view it is Heathers explanation where its not that you dont care about the person but that youre just letting them hang because you can. like a “keep my options open” kinda sitch
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Yearly Announcement before bed today:
Posted in: Adventures
Gonna go celebrate Martin Luther King Day by having a dream. Good night.
[I think I've said this for going on 3 years in a row, but i'm gonna keep sayin it till it stops making me smile]
UPDATE: The dream was super realistic down to textures, sounds and smells. I can’t tell if they’re just getting more vivid cuz of daily stimulus, stress patterns and diet or if im actually crossing into alternate dimensions and leading a Matrix/Inception double life and THIS one is the real “dream”. ya, probably the latter, right?
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Auto Scrolling after text sending
Posted in: Adventures
Dammit, technology – STOP scrolling all the way down the page after sending someone a text! That is a different person and its easy to accidentally send your next reply to them instead of the person you’re currently talking to.
I’m trying to carry on a polite discourse with this girl about a guy one of her friends says is bad in the sack and THIS is like the 5th reply I almost accidentally sent to either Jimmy Bussey or my dad:
‘plus: “boring” is the best negative thing to say ab someone in bed because it doesn’t mean they’re unattractive or bad at moving or lack well-put-together parts
Me: it just means that they weren’t creative in how they effed you – which is the case when you’re not that into the person.’
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“What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger”
Posted in: thoughts
“What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger” is only true for bacteria. Thought of this when I had to explain to a friend that you NEVER cut short the taking of an instructed amount of antibiotics cuz you think you’re getting better and dont need them since all that does is turn the dying bacteria into now-immune super soldiers that get released back into the world. Instead, you have to take the full amount to completely zap it, regardless of your improving effects of the ailment.
So ya – if you’re bacteria, then you’ll totally get super strong from stuff that doesn’t kill you.
For humans though – most of what doesn’t kill us makes us weaker. Physically, almost always and mentally, almost always – though at least we have the OPTION of turning the blow into a fist clenching strengthening resolve then. but most don’t.
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“Reeeechurds not even spose-teh BE here…”
Posted in: Adventures
The line from the title above has been in a couple videos over the past 2 years and every few weeks I get asked what it means. This blog is a reminder to myself to tell the story on camera some time when I see my brother next, but the quick summary is that it was about 13 years ago, involved alcohol and has been a running gag in the family ever since.
Until the story gets told properly, i’ll leave you with this…
