Pants are for suckers
– May 16, 2012Posted in: Adventures
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Just be nice to people
– May 15, 2012Posted in: Adventures
The gratitude and relief on that older woman’s face when I helped lift her bags she was struggling with gave me a high that lasted the whole flight home.
Why would anyone ever do drugs when you can feel such euphoria just from helping other people?
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New Waterfalls Episodes Coming Soon
– May 14, 2012Posted in: Adventures
3 news episodes of Chasing Waterfalls filmed with Anna this weekend here on Oahu Hawaii. Stay tuned! Here’s one of them:
Maunawili Falls
Manoa Falls
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I need an Alfred
– May 11, 2012Posted in: Adventures
Being Batman is easier when you have an Alfred. and a Robin. and billions of dollars to finance your ventures. hrmm. making the billions is underway. soooo…I should prolly start with an assistant.
– Now accepting applications.
Keep in mind the “assistant” position in this case, though. It’s not this:
I’m not looking for a secretary to take calls and schedule flights for me -Nor am I in need of a classically trained English butler.
I used Alfred as an example for that reason, but perhaps the point requires further illumination…
Alfred is by no means Batmans bitch. dude is a family friend who helped raise him & a former secret British agent. In addition to adding leads, analysis and general brainstorming to the Dark Knight – he also handles the Wayne family finances (managing and directing funds for Batman tools, supplies and gadgets), is the mechanic to both the Batmobile & Batplane (and various other Bat transports), performs minor surgeries (bullet removal, stitches, etc) and is the only person alive to always be aware of Batmans plans, location and activities while on 24/7 call to provide information, relay directions & messages or stage a rescue, as needed.
Now, I need different sets of skills to aid me, but just as many and just as eclectic ones. So how bout it? did the waiting room of interested parties just empty out? lol.
I won’t even make you wear a suit. I just could really use a partner, is all… someone to come bring me ice cream while researching for 900 hours straight in front of my dual monitors.
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Everybody Hates These Awesome Glasses
– May 10, 2012Posted in: Adventures
I keep forgetting that these sunglasses are more universally hated than Hitler or The Red Sox until the next time I put them on and the world reminds me that they suck. Well YOU suck.
These sunglasses are AWESOME.
I was just re-reminded by a new batch of onlookers and its only fueling may passion for their douchey awesomeness. PLUS: check THIS out: the very day after the subject was brought up again, a picture of Dwayne and I rocken them (probably shortly after purchasing them to be awesome-twins) resurfaced.
Dwayne is gettin m’urried in the fall and check out the picture his fiance used on their engagement website to depict me:
Hellz ya, boyz! If its good enough for the future Mrs Dwayne then it ought be good enough for the world.
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Cheers, Mofos (+ a great background for your phone!)
– May 9, 2012Posted in: Adventures
I’m all hot-tubbed out for the night, a cool tropical breeze with the smell of flowers to it is blowing through the open balcony, the silk jammies are on and me and this glass of Guava juice are gonna go watch the crap out of some cartoons until one of us falls asleep, probably sprawled out in the “snow angel” position to be awoken by the rising sun in 8 hours. ….
———
UPDATE: This played out on Facebook, like so:
When I wondered later if the “kind of want to” turned into a “did”, this was the reply:
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Reincarnation Invincibility
– May 9, 2012Posted in: Adventures
[Live-updated via phone // syndicated from facebook status]: this hippy, kinda milfy woman in the hot tub here just told me that reincarnation is real and it is the reason why kids and young people are so fearless and feel like they are invincible – because they recognize that they were just here and they know its just a circle of life ride. but old people forget and start to get cautious or something. idk. i had to save this craziness as a note so i thought might as well save it as a status. im lobster-red in this thing and probably ready to be served, steaming. i bet id taste like Awesome.
ps: remind me not to get a lovers name tattooed on me or some time in my 30s i may evidently have to cover it up with the black blot of Betty Boops hair like this chick.
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LEADERSHIP
– May 8, 2012Posted in: Adventures
Leadership means being the first one to cross a street with no cars coming and show the rest of the people waiting that it is okay to go even though the “Don’t Walk” light is on.
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Making New Friends (Spoiler: the Friends are turtles)
– May 8, 2012Posted in: Adventures
4 Sea turtles out here in a secret beach on Oahu’s North Shore today.
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Sunglass Lesson is a trap for Traps and a lesson in Traps
– May 7, 2012Posted in: Convos
This started in response to the consistent hate for my awesome cool-guy douchebag white sunglasses…
Wyatt
THIS, Richard. THIS is how sunglasses must be worn.
Richard
ooOOoooh. i get it…
Guy
Richard wins. 
Richard
its not a competish, Guy. I’m just accepting fashion advice
Jason
I was too busy checking out the traps. Good work!
Richard
^translation for Richard? (is “trap” slang for sumth?)
Guy
muscle nick names…
Richard
ahh. *thats* why im not familiar with it (cuz i aint got any. lol). makes sense.
Wyatt
Richard
thought i had while jogging a few mins ago: so if a dude gets you in a headlock you cant escape from, you’re in a trap by a trap?
or is it “a trap by his traps” i guess?
now ive repeated the word too many times in my head to where it doesnt make sense anymore as a word and i question the meaning of life
Wyatt
if it’s a girl who has a penis and has you in a headlock, it’s a trap^3
Richard
thanks for articulating my worst nightmare
Wyatt
*adds to resume*
Richard
-ps: is “trap” a gay thing? or will my female friend who is a competitive body builder and a mom understand the joke if i comment one of her pictures where she’s flexing with her son with the caption “The Parent Trap”?
Wyatt
if her traps are prominent, yes. if she has a penis, yes. if she’s a lindsay lohan fan, yes.
otherwise, better taste should prevail
Richard
oh, ya. even if its a broadly enough known term that she’d get the ref, id still be implying that she has a dick, huh? good call. nixed.
Wyatt
possibly yes. approximately 137% of guys on the internet under the age of 30 know what a “trap” is (the penis definition) so yeah
Richard
id never even heard of it, let alone know it. Jason said traps were muscles. trap, singular = penis? this is so confusing. can someone make me a chart i can print out and carry around for reference? :/
Wyatt
oy.
Trap:
(1) muscle on your upper back
(2) an unfortunate situation where one is tricked. cf. Admiral Ackbar, an internet meme c. 2009
(3) a younger, usually hairless man dressed as a girl, convincing enough to fool other men as to his/her gender. the “trap” is the discovery that the “attractive woman” has a penis.
