That which doesn’t kill us…

Always dust yourself off and get right back up again any time you have a discouraging experience.

Just remember: “that which doesn’t kill us, only makes us hurt in the meantime, adding more gratuitous setback to an already ultimately meaningless existence in a cruel and disorderly world of relentless suffering that weakens our body and spirit on this conveyor belt to nothingness where we’ll all be forgotten anyway”.

Amen. ?#?Richspiration?

I put black Chinese goo on my face to make it more beautifuller

An opportunity arose for me to put an asian beauty goop of unknown purpose on my face, so obviously I jumped at it without question since I’m tired of living as a hideous monster and am finally ready to do something about it. SAY GOODBYE TO THE OLD ME.

I split the packet with someone else, so I didn’t have as much to slather on my money-maker as you probably need. Especially since I later found out that it drys as a rubber gunk that you have to peel off where as at first I thought it was like a mud mask you have to wash off. I also searched for what it was supposed to even do and found out that it’s a blackhead remover, which would have also informed my technique in application had I known beforehand. Instead I just smear it around way too thin and in way too much surface area of my skin (knowing its a blackhead rubber-peel, I would have just T-zone’d that shiz instead of nook and crannying it all around and up in my beard).


By the way: 2 people deleted me on SnapChat for hashtagging this pic with “black is beautiful”. Which is fine by me cuz I don’t want to be friends with anyone who doesn’t think black is beautiful anyway…

Then comes the peel-off. Which was kindov impossible because as seen above, I didn’t apply it thickly or evenly enough. But whatever. I don’t want it all to go away. I like the residual pieces.


Spam Flattery reminds me what a thirsty loser I am

Spam has a new tactic lately of complimenting its target and it must work tremendously because I’m one of the best humans alive with no needy inclinations or default desire to give a crap about what strangers think, but when I see an obviously robot generated message that alleges to think I’m great, a part of me desperately wants to believe it’s a real human enough to at least make triple super sure before deleting it.

The fact that still as an above-averagely accomplished grown ass adult I still have an involuntary initial reaction to latch onto these opportunities as if there were a shred of a chance they were both real and worth anything is a reminder that i’m still just a dorky kid who wants everyone to like him.

It would all be so ruthlessly tragic if I wasn’t so cognizant of how objectively fkking Awesome I am.