So you have decided to go to a Red Lobster. Congratulations! You may already know about their amazing bread they give you for free with every meal. Don’t be a chump during your visit. You need to get every one of those gold nuggets you can.
?? Here is how:
- Arrive hungry
- Ask for bread IMMEDIATELY
- Eat all bread immediately so you are clearly in need of more by the time the waiter comes back. Order drinks and more bread at that time.
- If you’re not eating the bread fast enough, hide some in napkins and put at your side. When you order dinner – ask for more bread.
- After dinner arrived you won’t want more bread. Order more anyway and stash it.
- Don’t finish dinner. Get a to go box and ask for several even if you only need one.
- Put the stashed biscuits in the remaining spaces of the boxes.
- You’re too full for dessert.
- Eat biscuits with leftovers later that night or for breakfast but microwave them until they’re steamed all the way through but not molten lava before consumption every time.
- Include the biscuits in other meals and snacks for the rest of the day. Finish them within 24 hours or they’ll go hard and when revived in the microwave will still have a flat stale taste.
You can also ask for to-go bread (it’s important you call them “bread” and not their Christian name of “cheddar bay biscuits” because you have to remember that the characters you’re playing are not experienced cheddar bay buddies – you’re kind but naive casual tourists who “just can’t get enough of thah bread”, ya hear? Play the part like you’re just enjoying the meal so much – not that you’re being sneaky and your server will be more lenient and generous in the hook-up.
Anyway: ask if you can have summa that to-gozie bread and feel out whether they’re gonna be cool or charge you for it. If they say the price just say nevermind, go home, and feast on more cheddar bay biscuits.
Goodspeed and Good Luck!
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