American Eagle is like…wtf

Dear American Eagle (division of American Airlines where you fly in a tiny 44-seater jet): we’re SO fighting right now, you jerk.

i took my time getting off and the weird ass little box you walk into is confusing as hell and poorly marked. first i walked to the left… dead end.. then i stared at this open door people were walking out of…

i decided to walk out it and was asked for my boarding pass. FUCK. that’s an outdoor jetway i was trying to enter… and everyone in this little room fucking saw me. they all think less of me now. fuck them. i’ll kill their families.

It took another 5 minutes of coy exploring to find the gathering for the bus that takes you to the airport. the-wha? -ya. apparently the American Eagle jets land in the middle of the fucking landing strip, so you have to take a bus that drives next to the taxi-ing planes that are landing and lifting till you get to the airport. fine, whatever. that parts cool if that’s what they wanna do, but god DAMN – could you have more than a fucking “exit” sign over the door where you get the hell out of that place they drop you in? Jesus.

Right now everyone in that little box terminal is talking to their families and going “dude, did you see that faggot get off the plane and not know where he was? – i know! – and then he tried to walk on another flight??? lmao. what a nube. i’m a horrible person. i should kill myself. lol. blah blah blah”.

I took that first picture to show how tiny the plane is, but it doesn’t look that tiny. why the fail? idk. if i study it, its clear there is only one overhead bin and one line of seats on the left and two on the right. that’s small. but in the picture it just looks like a normal walkway to me. stupid flying machine. although i liked flying in it much better than the adult sized aircrafts. i never got the sensation of “this is it – we all die NOW” that i do for at least 1 second at some point in the big boy planes.

I also like walking out of a plane into open-air. i feel like thats how its supposed to be done.

None of this changes the fact that I got off a plane and found myself trapped in a small area of people judging me though, so fuck American Eagle. thats a clothing line anyway. wtf? how does American Airlines not get sued? actually, I think I modeled for the AE clothes Co back in my younger days (like 3 years ago). I should call up some of my contacts there and be all “babe – ya, its Bushnell – no no, I’m too busy for a shoot, this is a matter of business of – no, babe – NO, i said. i’m too busy and you can’t write enough zeros for it to be worth mah time, akay? so just listen to me here. i wanna talk to you about a potential lawsuit..” and then punish American Airlines for humiliating me in front of a group of strangers i’ll never see again.

Revenge is a bitch.

the Eagle has landed……..