People used to say I looked like Jude Law, but that was awhile ago when he was on the Sexiest Man on Earth style lists and is an outdated comparison now cuz I’m so way totally like 40 times better n stuff, right? right, u guyz?…. Look, i’m just gonna cut to the chase here: If someone doesn’t tell me I’m prettier than Jude Law – and *make me believe it* – i’m gonna smash this wine glass full of pomegranate juice and make a scene.
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