Yo man, lemme axe you a question… Whats gelatin?
Don’t play like you don’t have a theory. The dessert. Jell-O products. Clear gelatin capsule pills. What’s it made out of? You have to guess and your guess is….
Derived from plants, right? It’s the goopy inside from an aloe plant or sumfin? That’s your guess, right?
Nah, bro. Capsules are cows.
Gelatin is collagen – the connective tissues in bodies. The gelatin we eat in desserts and swallow capsules of is made from animal parts.
So those gummy worms and gummy bears you’re eating are actually made of ACTUAL worms and ACTUAL bears!
Actually, that’s not true, but it’s funny to think about, and if it’s funny then it’s true enough to say, right? The truth isn’t anything that gross as bears and worms: Gelatin is mostly derived from boiled skin and bones from cows. mmmmm.
Okay so learning is cool and everything – But would you have guessed that?? Shut up if you said anything but “no, not even close” because you didn’t and liars go to hell. No one thinks gelatin is melted down and reconstituted cow. But it iiiiiis! and now you know that! Are you not excited-with-me about this discovery?? Or wait, sorry – under anti-Columbus rules, we can’t say we discovered anything that people discovered before us, so I guess – we “learned something that probably indigenous tribes taught us” or whatever the thing you’re supposed to say in these cases is. Okay – this is killing my buzz on how interesting I thought this disco–“learned information” is. We need to focus here people:
Gelatin is anim-elatin!
That sounded funnier in my head but typing it out looks more clunky and clunk ruins humor. or maybe not. Maybe I’m just needlessly doubting myself. I should leave it in, right? It’s growing on me now.
Growing like the skin and bones that go into making translucent jiggly colored blobs.
Gelatin is made from boiled skin and bones. Have a great day!
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