Glitter is dangerous and you should be afraid of it

Ever since my first grade teacher Miss Klein told us to be careful with the glitter we were using for some nonsense waste of time craft project in class one day, stating that it could scratch our eyes on account of it being tiny bits of metal, I have been thinking of exactly that scenario happening at least twice a year. 

The real question is: why don’t you have the same fear? Is it because Miss Klein didn’t inform *you* that glitter can scrape the most sensitive body part you have and damage you permanently as you weigh that possibility with the cost of needing little shinies on whatever bullshit craft thing you’re doing? Cuz if so, allow me to be the Klein to your enjoyment of glitter. 

This is the cover image to a YouTube video I found on an image search, but I can’t cite the source cuz I’m too scared to click on it cuz it will give me nightmares

Glitter is glass except more innocuous and more dangerous. That means it has potential to damage you more just by being itself on its own, but that likelihood is increased by the false sense of safety it lulls you into when you treat it like any other flamboyant but harmless artistic accessory.

While you’re unlikely to accidentally overdose on glue, slit your wrists with safety [or even regular] scissors, choke yourself with cotton balls, or insert a pipe cleaner up your pee-hole – the likelihood of handling tiny flakes of metal and then somehow getting at least one into contact with your exposed eyeball is a lot more likely. 

How are you okay with that?

You might say because there’s not a ton of reporting on glitter related accidents, but since when does that change anyones mind? You can tell someone afraid of something how statistically safe it is but the one thought in their mind fueling the fear is what they’ll remain fixated on.

You should be afraid of glitter. It’s dangerous, it’s innocuous, and the harm it can cause is serious.

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