That one chick I’m allegedly dating has a friend who has a friend at a salon and offered a hook up on a hair snip. So I get my haircut today and make a complete and total utter ass of myself.
There I am in that stupid electric chair on a pump, while this nice young woman is attempting to tame the wild jungle on top of my head starting with my bangs. She tells me she’s not just going straight across to make it look ‘a little edgier’. At the thought of hair hanging down in a bowl cut I made an awkward comment about “looking like a Beatle” – heh…heh.
I of course was referring to the 1960’s British rock band sensation but it immediately dawned on me that grammatically, I had referred to the hard shelled multilegged stupid effing bug. So of course I freaked as I thought of what an idiot I must look like as I quickly panicked and made a quick comment saying something like “heh, Ringo Haircut heh”.
DAMMIT! what? what the hell? who does that? Not only does she probably still not know what the hell I was talking about, but I look like a friggin jackass. GAWD. I hate the Beatles…and bugs…and hair…and racial minorities.
Anyway: I sucked up my stupidity and stayed silent like my face was welded shut while she finished cutting and thinking what an idiot loser I am. I brushed myself off, tipped her a dollar, and I cried the whole way home.
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