Why hasn’t Richardland been updated as much as it used to?
-I’ll tell ya why – cuz I can’t breathe dammit!
Visitors of Richardland. I call out to you. Your leader lies dying (not to be confused with ‘dies lying’). The new house that I’ve moved into has 3 felonious felines that pollute my office space air supply so terribly to my allergy sensitive body that every breathe is harder than pulling a donut away from Rosie O’Donnell.
But it’s not totally just them and no, I can’t just kill/eat/set on fire/shave/get rid of them. The dander, hair, and other filthy impurities in the air have rendered my eyes unstable and made my nose an unusable decoration on my face that’s pretty much just for show. Add that to California’s already less than godly air, and I’ve got a problem.
So far I’m only surviving off an air filter from 1922 that sounds like a B52 bomber, besides being weak as a diabetic kitten. I can’t go on like this much longer kids.
I can’t keep bringing you entertaining stuff here on Richardland, let alone become big shot Hollywood ruler of earth (why I moved here) without a working nasal cavity and non torturous eyeballs. I need a state of the art piece of machinery to cleanse my office space air of the pet dander, cat hair, bacteria, dust and airborne icky yucky dirt and things combo that is fighting against me every day if I am to carry on..
Solution: I desperately need an ionic breeze.
Problem: They’re 500 bucks.
I ain’t got no dang fi hunna dollas yo. But 500 of you fine folks have 1 dollar… And since I don’t know enough people who like me enough to give me a dollare – I’ve got a solution…
I did the math. -If my diehard fans (mom and the kid down the street) toss in like 10 bucks or so, and the kind hearted passers by just drop in a measly dollar and everyone who just surfs through this page by accident decide to flip in just a quarter or even a freaking dime for Christ sakes.. -I’ll have enough American currency for my lungs faster than you can say “Uncle Pinky’s Pickle Pants” (and I can say it pretty fast).
500 clams is peanuts (clams is peanuts?) to raise if people actually hook it up. So come on guys…wadda ya say? Help me breath.
Hook a brother up for Christ sakes.
You don’t need to be 18. You don’t need your parents permission. And you can contribute as little as pocket change or as much as just buying me the damn thing yourself.
*** Top donors to the ‘Help Richard Breath’ foundation will be plugged at the top of the main page. ***
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