Hey, do any of you losers happen to know of a way to get an iPhone screen fixed for cheap? Or can I just send you my phone (don’t open the “Definitely Work Spreadsheets” folder) if you run a phone repair place and then I can shout out Phileppe’s Fixy Phoney Phunhouse or whatever your business is? And if you’re willing to take that deal and your business is not named that, may I ask why? Is it cuz you’re stupid? Cuz why would you go through all the effort to make a business of that nature and then not name it PFPP (for short)? Actually, never mind. I don’t trust your business sense for that reason. Deal’s off. You missed a big chance, buddy. Market your shit better next time.
Also – just so you know – iPhone’s *do* have folders in them… in the Files app. Folders. So… if you read that “don’t open this folder” joke (cuz like “hyuck hyuck, its probably where he hides his nasty pornz n stuff) and thought “ok boomer, your phone doesn’t have folders, it has apps” then you’re WRONG sukka! It was a clunky reference for a not-very-amusing payoff tho so I feel u, dawg. U right.
How’m I gonna fix this phone tho bruh? Can we focus on my needs here for a second? Like damn.
Groupon only shows iPhone 5,6,&7 for under $100 and searching local fixit places doesn’t yield any advertised prices cheaper than Apple store . And that Apple Store price is two hundy ($199). Do you know how many bags of Trader Joes cheese puffs that buys?? Me neither but I bet it’s more than 1. So do I want one new phone without a shattered screen or like, a bunch of cheese puffs? No brainer my dude. But I DO need a fixed phone tho. Viewing the digital world through smashies makes me feel like a sad pathetic nobody, and – not to come down on you – but you kinda should feel that way a little too. I mean, don’t feel bad about yourself, but you people who are just okay with your spider web phone screens probably rate high on the sociopath index cuz that definitely aint right.
One hundred bucks though. Times two! Ug. Just for a sheet of glass… I can’t do it man. I mean – I metaphysically can. Like – it’s possible. I just don’t want to waste that much cuz I want a damn new device soon. I’m still rocking the iPhone 11 – which, for you historians reading this in the future (how is the iPhone 100 btw? Is it cool? Holograms? Does it live inside your body as an implant? Rad), is a whole version behind what is current here in the year 2021.
I switched my parents over from Sprint to T-mobile and they got a switch deal with brand new phones even though T-mobie merged with Sprintzie and they one compadoodle now, so that was pretty dope, so I was going to see what kind of deal the T-MO would offer for me to switch into my parents family plan (I pay their bill anyway so I aint freeloading) but see – here’s the wrinkle my dude: the iPhone 13 is likely gonna be announced in September and right now its July 10th, so I’m trapped in basically the worst limbo of human agony you can probably conceive of.
Do you feel me on this? 2 months is just enough to be too long and just enough to be not long enough.
A real dilly of a pickle over here. wouldja lookit thayt.
And don’t even get me started on how I got into this mess. Foolish breakage this time. My actual fault for once. I carelessly tossed the phone onto a chair by the pool the other day and the stretched canvas absorbed the inertia like a trampoline and bounced it right onto the stone ground. First shmatter in years and previously I’ve always been mad about them cuz the damages were from little taps and short drops that should have survived if the product was built well but this one was my own fault. I guess. I mean. Now that I think about it, I feel like that’s not true and that my bumper case and/or Apple using stronger glass should have protected it. I was just down on myself because of how without-care I limp wristedly foofed the device onto the chair only to watch it boi-oi-oi-oing and do a pancake flip face-down onto the rock. Ugh.
I should have gotten AppleCare. Except after I just typed that, I realized “uh…how would I *not* have AppleCare?”…. Bro… I’m pretty sure I totally do. Lemme check this shiz….
https://support.apple.com/en-us/HT204073 … [typing sounds]…
er… Nevermind…
Hi my name is Richard and I like to waste time on easily avoidable detours from not checking things thoroughly.
I can smash this dumb thing on purpose one more time before November. In fact I just might just to get my moneys worth. Fudge the poleece. I’m a god. I can do whatever I want. I don’t need anything or anyone.
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