Still here in Texas visiting my parents. I call it “visiting” cuz it doesn’t have the same charm as “using as a Bed & Breakfast for a week while I recover from a fever that I got while partying too hard in St Louis”. My mom came home today with a box of Girl Scout Cookies telling me to hide them in my room and not ever bring them out so her and my dad don’t eat them. It was a daunting task, but I was up to the challenge. She also got me some Benadrhl, which I said was the wrong kind and later turned out to be wrong, but shouldn’t have said it was the wrong kind anyway cuz she had already gotten the wrong kind of sore throat meds earlier. So now this double-wrong move frustrated her n that’s bad cuz you gotta keep chicks upbeat to keep them serving you and since I’m critical about everything else I gotta pick the times to point out failure. Like this morning when I made my mom make me waffles even though she was busy. When I brought back my empty plate I was like “thanks mom. but next time could you try and make them not taste like shit?”. Just kidding. They were good. Girl Scout Cookies are good too and I’m eating them now.
Girl Scout Cookies are one of those things that you forget exist until you have them again and then you remember how awesome they are until you forget about them again.
The GS Cooks whose crumbs I’m getting all over my laptop now are Samoas. Or what used to be called Samoas. Now I see the box says “Caramel deLites”. What the hell? deLite? Is that supposed to be sine sort of non legal advertisement that they’re low fat? What happened to Samoas? I think we all know what happened to Samoas. They were murdered by Political Correctness.
Some special interest time wasting idiot group representing Samoan tribes probably got together and rallied so they would no longer have to suffer the persecution of having a delicious desert snack sold for charity named after them, and the Girl Scouts – being girls and all – caved to the pressure.
*Okay, I just Googled it to see if I was right, and the real reason is some bureaucratic bullshit about processing and different manufacturers that make the cookies for the Girl Scouts and all kinds of technical garbage that isn’t interesting at all.
Also, I’ve been eating these things as I type and… erm. I think I mighta had too much…
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