I made this prescription in response to a twitter post (cuz i’m still easing into that whole culture and not at all ready yet to call them “tweets”) asking how to get his damn kids to behave. As a bachelor with no children of my own, I felt uniquely qualified to answer his plea and since I’m such a giver, I’m making my response public here to help all the parents that regularly read my blog and masturbate to it while their children are playing/misbehaving in the other room:
- Drink Alcohol [kids? what kids?]
- Make them drink alcohol. [fact: a nice tot of gin puts a 4yr old down like *that*]
- Threaten violence. [kids are scared of people bigger than them]
- Perform violence. [make your kids scared of people bigger than them]
- Get new kids. [start over!]
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