I’d be a natural Hipster if they weren’t douches

Sometimes i’ll just be chillin in a midnight epsom salt bath and catch a glimpse of myself that gets me having to fight the urge to get a manbun and never shut up about yoga and gluten.

That’s cuz alla-that’s a good look. Part of me thinks thats how we’re supposed to be. But we can’t. because a segment of cultural pioneers already settled that land and they made it douchey. And now we’re stuck. Never being able to be the men we know we should be. Because a cultural enclave beat us to the punch and sullied the land with kitchy affected tomfoolery that wards off those who may come after.

So thanks for nothing, hipsters. Your thirst for progress has led you to try too hard to evolve and the result was so inauthentic and off-puttingly pretentious that it prevented a whole wave of others from naturally progressing into the utopia you tried too hard to manufacture.

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