Me and my ninja cartwheel moves: 1.
Car that just slipped off the road in a terribly careless turn and almost killed me (im on foot): 0.
Assessing the damage: aint nuthin but a bruised foot. Interesting day cuz just a few hours earlier, I walked into a 1 person bathroom and there was a tall trashcan right beyond the door to where you walk in and then get surprised by this big blocky thing youre not expecting, which naturally, my ninja brain flash-interpreted as a meth addict waiting to jump the next old man who had to empty his colostomy bag and I immediately kicked it with a right-arm lift to a blocking-but-ready-to-swing position. Afterward I was pretty proud of myself since I realized that when startled, in 1 tenth of a second, I did everything right: struck my surprise-attacker while simultaneously blocking a potential assault. BAM, bitches. little did I know that later that night I would be tested by a much more real, much more deadly and probably much more drunk fo.
Well sorry, surprise-Death… Not tonight.
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