Marcel and Beck are no Happy Days

Talking about Sarah Palin answering that she voted for Newt Gingrich on Super Tuesday, the following thread arised…arose? arizzled:

Damian
CNN “caught up with” (read: stalked until she showed up) Palin at her polling site earlier that day, and she refused to tell them whom she supported. THE NEWSCORP PLOT THICKENS

Richard
idk if you watched it yet but she says the only reason shes answering is cuz a fox reporter asked her.

Damian
I know. I never asserted The Newscorp Plot (coming out in hardcover, paperback and e-reader this summer) was a secret.

Wyatt
If there was ever a Newscorp plot, I feel like Huckabee would be kept in the dark

Damian
If the staff of Fox News were the cast of “Cars”, Huckabee would be Mater.

Wyatt
If the staff of Fox News was the cast of “Fargo”, Shep would be the woodchipper

Damian
If the staff of Fox News were the cast of “Sex and the City”, Geraldo would be Miranda.

Wyatt
If the staff of Fox News was the cast of Frasier, Bret Baier would be Eddie the dog

Damian
If the staff of Fox News were the cast of “How I Met Your Mother”, Karl Rove would be Marshall.

Richard
If the staff of Fox News were the cast of “Friends”, Glenn Beck would be Marcel.

-and then he had to deride my perfect and only addition and derail the whole train…

Damian
Beck is no longer with FNC, so a more cogent analogy would be: “If Fox News were the cast of ‘Happy Days”, Glenn Beck would be Chuck Cunningham.”

I’m sorry I had to take him out. it’s never easy when you have to put down a friend, but when Old Yeller starts frothing at the mouth, you’ve got to pull out the shotgun…

Richard
Ross’s pet monkey Marcel was a novelty added to the show to increase ratings and get it more press, however the classic sitcom formula and recording structure made working with an animal increasingly difficult and problematic for the Producers and cast so Marcel left the series. Fans were disappointed and Marcel pictures and audio clips of his scenes were posted in email forwards and on America Online Homepages, making him what may have been the first television talent to move to the interent.

Chuck Cunningham on the other hand, disappeared from Happy Days without warning, explanation or mention in later episodes where as Beck and Marcels departure was released to the press beforehand, written/acknowledged on air and referenced afterward.

There is no more cogent analogy than mine. You should know better than to doubt me. I am disappoint.

and then things just got…dirty… 

Damian
And I just got you to explain WAY more about “Friends” than any heterosexual male EVER should. Also, comparing Beck to a monkey is racist. Somehow.

Richard
Friends wasnt the Sex and the City of the 90s. it was the Jr Seinfeld. if anything, it was fanned by more homophobes than gays. It’s also the first show that made me really interested in having actual sex with a girl (instead of just looking at them naked, which was what middle school me thought couldnt be topped, cuz why ruin such a good thing with gross bodily fluids n stuff?)

Damian
GIRLPARTS ARE STICKY AND GROSS

Richard
I didnt know anything would get sticky, but peeing yogurt sounded like a stupid way of making the perfection of hugging a naked chick just turn into an annoying mess. -& I dont think Friends featured a single black person (even in the background) until the season 9 introduction of Aisha Tyler, so in a world where New York City is Sweden, I dont think racist comparisons can exist.

Wyatt
Did nobody go for the obvious here? That the 90s version of Sex & the City (blech) was Will & Grace? Or was the “peeing yogurt” mental image the penny on the rails?

Richard
I think the 90s Sex and the City was The Golden Girls and that they are actually the same women in an alternate dimension. If the staff of Fox News was the cast of The Golden GIrls, Bill O’Reilly would be Sophia. Bill Shulz would be Rose. Andy Levy would be Dorothy. (this would have been the better comment to gay-trap me in. you blew your yogurt too early on that one).

DP
OMG, you claim to be straight but you actually REMEMBER the Golden Girls’ names? #doesnotcompute

Richard
oy. I think Santorum might have a point about teh gayz waging an invasive war on the country that must be stopped. “gay” used to be a love of cock. now its stretched its tentacles so far that even memory of television shows with no homosexual content from an entire decade is gay to you people. Do I not give you enough material with my frequent bubble baths and public comments about wanting to ass rape Justin Beiber? Must you taint the purity of 1990’s broadcasting? Have you no shame? (lol. i said “taint”).

DP
I miss the ’80s!

Richard Bushnell
now, the **80s** were fkkn gay. thats just a fact.

Lull in the convo at this point where DP mentions that she has a crazy love for Adam Lambert.

Wyatt
so much here to break down. i feel like a mild vinegar facing a daunting baking soda. let’s begin:

1) Sex and the City 00s ? 90s Golden Girls for multiple glaring reasons, most notably that all characters on Sex and the City would have to be Blanche. Which brings me to…

2) You stupid bastard. You forgot Fox News’s Blanche, which is *clearly* Shep Smith. Bill Hemmer would probably be a more accurate (and affable) Rose.

3) The 90s were more of a lesbian decade than a gay one. Ellen/Rosie anyone? (That would make some excellent fan fiction). That means the 00s were a “gay and lesbian” decade and now in the 10s we’re in a tranny decade (finally, I found a use for that skirt).

4) It takes an enormous brass pair of balls to admit love for Adam Lambert. Just sayin.

5) Your acknowledgement of the joke counts not as a graceful dodge but a dildohanded fumble.

Idk what 5 is referring to.

Wyatt
Oh and 6) I feel left out of the bubble baths but very much a part of the Bieber references. Can we switch that formula?

Richard Bushnell
?1) This sounds like a trap to get me to exhibit my Sex and the City knowledge but so be it: Charlotte, Carrie and the red head have similar sex lives to Rose and Dorothy, so they totally wouldnt all be Blanche.

2) I didnt forget. The only slut I could think of was Shulz and thought he was better placed elsewhere so my fallback was southern roots. Huckabee & Shep were already mentioned so I didnt bother.

3) Agreed.

4) Agreed. except replace “brass” with “bedazzled silk”.

5) What joke?

6) I can’t delete Biebspeak from my life. It’s who I am. It’s a part of me. It *is* me. On the bathing: I take baths sometimes. now you’re all inclusive and up to speed.

Wyatt ?
“Bedazzled Silk” is, strangely enough, my weekend name. At least it has been since the Rhinestone Battle of October 18th. Lost a lot of good menwomen that day…