The “seeing your friends published places” aspect of working as an E-list celebrity has been slightly different than what I expected… I’ve seen 4 different friends on 4 separate occasions appear either completely (and not artistically) nude online or in full out hardcore porn, completely randomly 100% by accident and one time saw a female friend at an after party in the Hollywood Hills working as a nude/body painted hostess just days after listening to her tell me how its “pathetic when girls think they need to strip for money”.
Today didn’t rise to either of those levels, but it’s still a funny notch to put in the history archives. I was thoroughly amused to see my friend Shannon (very bottom) getting mock-ass-raped by her ex boyfriend as the cover image for a “Macho Douche Bag” gallery on eBaumsWorld.com.
Actually, we’re not even friends anymore cuz she kindov annoys me in that she’s too smart to be constantly doing and saying the stupid things she’s built a consistent record on. Most recently was a month and a half ago or something when Joey, the Douche Bag she’s pictured with here, started getting (shock), possessive and abusive, so, knowing this, I kindov baited him by leaving her a comment on Myspace saying how I enjoyed the previous evening with her something – I forget exactly what – but the words lacked innuendo, flirt or any sort of tone that might be inappropriate towards a female in a committed relationship; precisely so when he freaked out anyway, it would be that much more amusing and illustrative of his douchebaggery. Sure enough, he pounced on the bait and friend requested me saying “pleased to meet you. I’m Shannons boyfriend”. I denied it and responded with only “I disagree”. So naturally he of course said whatever and moved on with his life in a mature and adult fashion —- JK. he flipped the fuck out and started plans to have me jumped, assaulted and critically wounded so Shannon “had” to delete me from Myspace right away to “protect me” – which I thought was soggy with weaksauce so I never added her back again (take THAT bitch. amirite??).
So back to eBaums public ridiculing of them: Actually, it’s not eBaum since he (Eric Bauman) sold the site and then got fired by the new owners. Its some user going by the title Mikemisat.
Shannon and Joey have the honor of appearing twice in the gallery as #’s 17 & 18. The butt-in-the-lap grr-face pic is fun, but I like the other one a tad betterz as it shows off Joey’s love for Jesus, which consequently doesn’t prevent him from the sins of rage, violence, pre-marital sex and that whole “my body is my temple” anti-tattoo stuff:
No beef against the brother. Just jokes. I dont even know the dude & wish him all the big pimpin best.
They broke up a day after the incident I mentioned above, but unfortunately for you the reader, I’m going to keep the full details unmentioned out of respect for Shannon even though she’s a dummy who bangs douche bags (still a good kid otherwise). Iknowright? I’m so gracious and kind. and awesome. and righteous – that’s a good word. I think surfer-dudes in the 90s ruined its usage. Think it’s time to bring it back. -Oh, and stop asking me for her full name, you creepy weirdos. It’s Shannon Buckel. who cares. gawd. righteous.
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