I went to “nothing” at 4AM last night and its ruining this fine September day quicker than a mom at a middle school party… like. the kind where everyone is super ashamed that they have parents and they’re trying to make everyone think they’re cool and –Jesus, I cant even analogize properly in this fog. I can’t say I went to “bed” cuz I was in bed for a couple hours before 4 (be-4?) but I also can’t say I went to “sleep” at that time either cuz that totally didn’t happen. I cant say anything. I hate my life and the world and this water bottle and your mom and im cranky and your face is stupid so shut up.
I bobbed up and down from consciousness to being awake so many times between 4am and 8am when I woke up for the first time, it was like a game of Tiny Wings and exactly as frustrating (this is gonna become an outdated reference when my blog is turned into a bible for a new religion, but: the game Tiny Wings on the Apple App store has no fkking ending. You can’t beat it. You just…stop. Its really anti-climactic).
So anyway – no sleep and then back to bed at 10am and then up and then tried to put myself back down and got an hour of sleep but then blah blah blah – this is getting boring – the point is I didn’t get any damn rest and now it’s already 4PM and I haven’t gotten anything done. Thatd be fine if I did what everyone thinks I do all day, which is nothing, but I pack 90 times of what you humans call normal work into every hour of my days – especially lately – and here I am with a bucket of nothing with so many hours already down.
this is a stupid brand of awful. 10m to 4pm with me not having done one single thing is death upon death when you have as many things to do as I do – and when people are waiting for you to do them all. Writing this cuz I just woke up and am still exactly as tiredheadachecrankslog as before. cant sleep any more or wont be able to shut down at a reasonable hour at night. so lame.
Gonna try one of those waterfall cleaning things in the bathroom one of my friends was talking about earlier and see if that helps. must start this day at 4pm and give it a wakeup-to-shutdown arc to save any part of it. if i shoot for a 2am bedtime, i’ll have 10 hours to make shit happen.
And happen, shit will.
Right after this nap.
ZzzZzzzzzzz
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