Oh, Hello Random Family of Strangers in my Driveway

My palatial estate in North Hollywood is so big that when I’m in my bedroom at the far east-wing, I usually dont hear the doorbell because the ringer is like a mile away, but today, by a fluke, I happened to hear the dinging while yoga-style stretching on my floor and made the 30 second journey to the front door. So what happened?

I just answered the doorbell shirtless and barefoot in my jammie bottoms, thinking it was the pool guy and I forgot to unlock the side-gate or a UPS person who just left a box and rang on their way back to the truck and – Nope – A friggin van and a family of 5 people (strangers) are in my driveway, 2 of them young hot chicks.

Lady and her husband greet me and ask if my house is for sale cuz the dopes I rent from never took their shit down online after I signed the lease in January. I said no and explained that they’re just incompetent and sorry to disappoint her while the hot daughters stared me up and down – probably because they were expecting an excited homeowner or realtor ready to give them a tour of a house for sale and instead were ambushed by a disheveled topless man, but for purposes of myy own self delusion, we’re gonna assume they were staring me down cuz their hearts and lower quarters were a flutter with desire for my statuesque features.

Oh, why…hello ladies…

I’m sure the smile one of them flashed back when I winked at her was one of geisha-like shy expression of how bad they want the D, and not a mocking “what in the fuck is this guy DOING?”. Naturally.

The lady said she was looking for a house for her daughters and asked if it was a nice area and expressed some more puzzlement at why whatever she was looking at online didn’t update with the fact that someone moved in several months ago.

I feel like I could have handled this better.

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