This thread started after Damian posted this Think Progress post titled Top Romney Surrogate Donald Trump Offers To Expose His ‘Very Very’ Impressive Genitals as a pretty laughable way to find something negative to say about Mitt Romney. What happened was that activist feminist lawyer Gloria Alred made a comment about Donald Trumps penis and he threw it back in her face. So Think Progress of course notes that Trump endorsed Mitt Romney for president to be able to get a Romney/sexual organ story to post. Way to go, fellas…. (Think Progress is not a comedy/satire blog).
Anne
Do we HAVE to look?
Damian
Not only do we have to, we will be forced, à la “Clockwork Orange”.
For the record, I love everything about this story. Except for the tranny surgery scars.
Richard
idk ab Trumps man-bump, but i know a few fellas round here who wouldnt mind havin their peepers strapped open and forced to watch Wyatt Clockwork Orange, fewknowwatimsayin. Especially if his clock is at noon – and lets face it – it usually iz.
Anne
Clockwork Orange was the one where they opened some guys eyes with foreceps right?
Richard
no, you’re thinking of The Sound of Music
Anne
I WISH my eye appointments reminded me of the SOM! Ive said too much
Richard
YA you have. fkkn weirdo. turnin a polite convo about Donald Trump and Wyatt’s collective peni into some gay bullshit about musicals. wtf.
Anne
YOU brought up the musical BOI!
Richard
i also voluntarily entered a 2nd set of male genitals into the discourse and increased the sexual tone of the thread. hence why its funny to point the “gay bullshit” finger at you. sigh… call the coroner, boys. this joke is officially dead.
Wyatt
Richard
Sarah Jessica Parker didnt do anything to deserve this 🙁 …
Richard
?-wait, nevermind. She cheated on Aidan in season 2 of Sex in the City. im okay with this now. ug. they were so good together! wtf!
Wyatt
the ONLY thing i know about Sex and the City is that someone was named “Mr. Big” and i think that’s the laziest nickname ever
Damian
Just as having Cynthia Nixon play an asexual failure was the laziest casting decision ever.
Wyatt
I always secretly hoped that Cynthia Nixon was Richard Nixon’s daughter
Damian
Yeah. You can totally tell she got her tits from her dad.
Wyatt
SJP, on the other hand, got her face from…her family’s equestrian stable…
Damian
Be careful making too many bestiality jokes in a ghey group, Wyatt. Dick Santorum might get excited.
Wyatt
Dick Santorum could get excited from seeing the phallic-shaped merchandise in the supermarket produce section for chrissakes
Damian
Santorum is a living, Catholic Ned Flanders. Neither will eat vegetables over two inches long.
Wyatt
Richard
lol. slight difference in their bo—– wait, nevermind. must get a visual. no one talk for a min
Richard
Damian
That would make for one HAWT threesome, Rich. But I still prefer Neddy. Once you go yellow, your bed won’t be mellow.
Wyatt
Nothing says “sexy” like jaundice
Richard
she DOES say sexy weird! she’s all like “sheexi”. lol. idk how you know my black cleaning ladies daughter Jaundice, but thats a spot on ref on how she talks
Wyatt
richard, i have a confession to make…
when you’re off at “work” (hanging out near the ymca) i was, ahem, playing “hide the sausage” with jaundice. on your waterbed.
i also used your face towel not on my face. and that substance wasn’t shampoo.
Richard
Sigh…Somehow, I feel like I’ve always known…
I have a confession to make too though, guys…
I had to google which one of the cast Nixon is when Damian made that joke (but laughed before knowing, anyway) and while there at teh googlez, i couldnt help but fact check my statement I made before that, knowing that i wouldnt be able to sleep tonight without ensuring my accuracy – and…well… Aidans storyline was season 3. not season 2 like I said :(… with time, I hope you’ll learn to trust me again… some day.
——————————————————————–
BONUS….
Richard
speaking of gross towels… heres a bonus story: I’m not saying this was me… in fact im heavily implying that it was not… but lets just say i know a guy… who was about to take his girlfriend out to special plans they had made one time but couldnt cuz her younger sister (junior in high school) had skipped out on baby sitting duties in a real “gotcha sukkaa! aye dew wat aye want” selfish and bitchy kind of way, leaving their 6 year old baby sister without someone to watch her so the gf had to stay in and the guy stayed in with her and when the baby sister was asleep, the gf and the dude banged on the living room floor on the middle sisters shower towel and the boyfriend jizzed in it and rubbed the towel together to evenly distribute it and make sure there were no noticeable crunchy parts that would tip her off to knowing something was up about the freshness of the cloth to ensure that she would dry herself with it as normal and leave a layer of the guys spunk all over her body. then the boy and the girlfriend freaked the fuck out 2 weeks later when the possibilities of this action were suddenly realized after the middle sister missed her period and confided in the gf that she thought she might be pregnant but wasnt sure how she could be…… luckily, she was just a slut and miscarried it or something. idk. but they got away and lived happily every after for another several months. THE END 🙂
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