It is with a heavy heart and cold, dry body, that I regretfully announce the death of my beloved hot tub, Tubitha Jettson.
Tubitha was special. She seated 5 people comfortably and up to 7 when needed, human-Jenga style. Several months ago it was announced that she was having power connection problems and I am sad to publicly reveal that the battle has been lost. I knew that as I got older I would encounter a lady I was unable to turn on, but I never knew it would be this devastating. I did all I could to save her, but at this stage, there is no power delivery to her body at all, as even the multicolored light within her fails to illuminate. Her light will live on within each of us however as we continue her memory and carry on her legacy.
For only one full year at my North Hollywood manor did she service myself and my guests in all seasons and weather. She was there for me when it was rainy. she was there for me on those cold 50 degree California winter nights. she was even there when it was hot outside but was at the ready just in case the pool tragically dipped under 80 degrees and a body needed a wet warm hug afterward.
She was not just a friend, she was the best friend and best wingman I could ever ask for.
But most of all, she was a large cube of hot water with bubbles. and at being that, she never failed. Until she failed at being that. So now she’s nothing to me and I have to throw her out like the trash she is.
When a loved one passes you think of all that you should have done while they were alive. To me, I regret not using her in more mixed media. I regret that the citizens of Richardland aren’t more acquainted with her so as to feel her loss and comfort me to the levels you should be right now.
I’ve never spoken of her until now… Not to anyone… Not even your grandfather… A woman’s heart is a deep ocean of secrets.
But now you know there was a hot tub named Tubitha Jettson and that she saved me… in every way that a person can be saved.
I don’t even have a video of her. She exists now… only in my memory.
Rest in Peace, old girl. My heart will go on. #NeverLetGo
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