I flew to Dallas on business this afternoon and learned that I might carry some misery inducing aura that doesn’t affect me, but wreaks havoc on new comers.
It all started when the end table next to my seat at my departure gate had a partially eroded graffiti slogan written in White-out marker. I deduced that it originally said “I [palm trees] Bad Days”.
So I boarded my flight, fully prepared to palm tree bad days, but instead confronted with the possibility that I make people really stressed, tired, unhappy, uncomfortable or sad.
I was assigned a middle seat in steerage in between two men who appeared to suffer from no illness or discomfort. 52 minutes into the flight, I began to feel like I was beaming something that was effing with my neighbors brains, as I noticed the gentlemen on both sides of me were hunched over with their heads in their hands.
Finally my ninja sneakiness and government spy savvy and slight of hand came in handy for something other than sneaking upskirt pics of girls on the public bus for once, so I could show you that which I describe…
Idk what the problem was, but I felt fine and finished the flight chipper and perpendicular to my seat.
This would explain why people observing me at a glance hate or have immediate disdain for me, while those who get to know or understand me a little, can’t get enough. Same with tha ladies – this explains why my one night stands never seem to stop crying, while my ex-girlfriends never seem to stop crying for me to come back to them: I must be a human drug… your first hit is miserable, but soon after it feels good once your body is used to it or you’ve developed a tolerance and then after that you’re full blown addicted…
Either that or I was seated in between two people who were slightly fatigued or uncomfortable in a coach airline seat.
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