As I get ready to start a lot of new things that will bring a lot of new changes which include moving to a nice house in North Hollywood that is more suitable for this next phase of action, I’ve had a lot of things to mentally organize and process accordingly and several conflicts and problems I’ve had to rectify that were crucial to moving forward. In response to the handling of these matters, I was criticized by someone handling their much less significant problems with a smear I’ve heard before: that I have an inherent advantage because of how easy it is for me to resolve internal and external conflicts. It’s an annoying comment to make and relies on the premise that people who succeed at something didn’t do so through hard work, but through some unfair special hook-up.
I brushed it off and just went for a 2 mile walk to think out a bunch of these looming issues to get rid of them from my subconscious and one of them led to the following progression I wanted to share with you.
I moved on to feeling how I’ll miss jogging the streets of my thousand oaks town and thinking of all the landmarks I never gave a shit about (street corners and just other random visuals) wont be there anymore and of course identified all that as foolish nostalgia with no legitimacy that all stems from nothing but a sense of uneasiness about change and a comfort to familiarity and while in plenty of instances that’s perfectly healthy and good – missing a suburban area you have no actual attachment to is not one of them.
So as I was finished dispatching with that, I thought of how obnoxious it is that people like this think that people like me are just genetically mentally superior OR just so lucky to have all their ducks in a row all the time while they have such a struggle to deal with. Its insulting lazy bullshit because I’m not any less prone to unreasonable panics, anxiety, selfishness, anger/outrage, etc – I’ve just spent a lifetime in deep thought about it all and spent years worths of hours focusing on solutions and understandings.
There’s no reason you cant do that too. lots of people do. but lots of people also don’t. and when you choose to not think about anything and just let your unfounded and reasonable concerns alike just pile up, the pipes burst and there’s mental sewage everywhere. that’s what it is, too: its not that i have a clean mental house because i don’t shit in it (ie: because my human brain produces just as much bile and waste as any other human) – its because I make sure I have working toilets and do daily cleaning of the whole thing.
If you, like this person who claimed I have an inherent advantage, are reasonably healthy and able to do at least one or more thing reasonably well then there is no reason why you shouldn’t be diligently working on your internal and external problems every day, showing a noticeable evolution to the approach with each new sunrise you’re lucky enough to witness.
A person with as many issues & problems vs capabilities as this should be looked upon like a person with access to a maid, butler, power washer and every cleaning product there is for free, yet chooses to let their trash and rotten food and feces just pile up and make a dump out of an otherwise really nice property – while all they care about are stupid bullshit things like what color the shutters are on the outside so neighbors think its still a cool house.
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