I joined Justin.tv today after finding Stickam too gad dang confusing. Oh, you don’t know stuff about the internet? Well, sit down and be schooled on its creepy ass wonders… The prementioned proper nouns are both webcam sites (you post live video of yourself and save it and like..chat or something – f#ck, i don know. I dont understand either of them at all. I don’t get the purpose, the interest, or what anyone gains by it, save for a select few who channel it as a marketing device, but whatever. I’m toying with options for making a regular live web show so I needed to start somewhere and a Myspace friend had recommended Justintv recently so blah blah blah — a girl made her breasts talk like a nerd in front of a delighted chatroom of males goading her on….. I didn’t want to get too involved with the setup, cuz the talking boobs is really all I’m here to talk about…so. Now that I haven’t burried the lead, as they say in journalismz; here’s the filler:
After I posted my first live-video-feed in a Myspace bulletin, some Myspacers then clicked over to Justintv to comment in my little chat room that gets created when you start a feed. The Justin.tv veteran who recommended it in the first place checks me out on there and invites me to her own feed… I go over to find 100% of the chatters posting requests to see body shots and actions. “Show me your legs”, “show me your cleavage”, “blow us a kiss”, “blow a dog that you kissed and then show us your legs again”. It was pathetic, not unexpected and kindov interesting.
The girl however… clearly having fun with the dogpound at her beck and call, was also walking the fine line between teasing these e-boys with satirical and ironic actions and just being friggin crazy as balls.
How? um. repeat: She made her tits talk like a nerd as entertainment for a group of strangers… It started as — no. Sorry, I’ll continue with a buildup to this, but before going on, I need to share with you the screenshot I took so you know I’m not making this up or employing comedic exageration…
Ok. So before this happened, she first she told everyone she’s a post-opp tranny and started talking in a mock-macho voice. Harr harr – except no one in the room showed any sign that she was joking. They all complimented the surgery and started asking questions about her double life. No winkie faces 😉 no lols – nothing following these idiot ass statements that would clue her or a reader in that they are not fkking retarded and are aware that she clearly was kidding about being transgendered.
Then… she made her boobs talk… The cam shot was pulled in to include cleavage only, and she started to grab her breasts to signify which of the two was talking as she proceeded to make them have a conversation with eachother…
The glasses were part of a nerd-boob bit she was improvising – again, to great delight of the members of her chatroom. And make no mistake..this was no sight-gag – This was a full routine that lasted several minutes. The nerd boobs would shake as a high pitched voice told us about the things it liked and was into. and then… as if it couldn’t get any better,slash,worse… nerdboobs tells us.. “I’m also rilly good at math!”…. and then this happened…
as you can see: 85 other gentlemen were "enjoying" this performance along with me
…….
My only regret is that I should have tried harder to hold back some of the incredulous laughter so my side of the screenshot showed more of the dumbfounded horror I was feeling and less of the nervous amusement at wtf I was watching.
Terrified that someone would walk in my room and see me watching webcam footage of talking nerdboobs with a calculator on them next to a box of text filled with vulgar and graphic requests, I exed the windows and returned to the saftey of my own awkward little chat window box..thing…
Ladies & Gentlemen… I give you… the internet…
*bow*
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