Spider-Man was my favorite superhero as a kid because he was smart, quirky, kinda nerdy and awkward but also really slick when in his groove and doing what he does best. It was a perfect hero vs. secret identity contrast. Most kids who liked Spider-Man probably saw him as what they wanted to be—nerds who put on a mask and become focused, funny, and highly capable heroes. But I saw Spidey as what I already was, because I always saw myself as “a temporarily embarrassed awesome popular cool person” even in my most awkward or lonely years. Plus, I was objectively amazing, just not quite communicating it to the public, or to girls, or to friends, or potential friends, or teachers, or other living things… yet.
Superman kinda does that same Parker/Spidey personality split in where Supes is a confidant badass and Clark Kent an unsure-of-himself nerdy klutz who is awkward and nervous around Lois because she shines in verbal jousting and Supes shines in punching planets n sh*t – so when he can’t show off the things he’s good at, he’s left in total Beta deference to Lois being a go-getter boss chick. But that kinda doesn’t count cuz Superman is his real self and Kent is his attempt to act like a human, which he understandably finds difficult, so there’s an excuse to why it comes off as goofy – it’s cuz he’s always lying and hiding about being an invulnerable alien man-god.
The Parker/Spidey dynamic is a different spin on the same idea. In high school, Peter Parker is awkward and weird because he hasn’t had enough social experience to be comfortable in that arena. He shines in the areas he’s good at, which, before he got fang-stabbed by a radioactive spider and gained those dope powers, was just nerd stuff. Peter comes off as goofy when trying to impress people but impressive when he’s not trying, just executing on his natural skills. After getting all those physical attributes like durability, strength, and the talents of a top acrobat without spending a day in clown college, he had a whole new arena where he could be confident and impressive just by being himself. But like Superman, he had to keep that part a secret. So Peter Parker remains awkward because he rarely has leverage in social situations, which are mostly about hierarchies, status, and charisma he lacks. But as Spider-Man, he’s in his element, and can be a wise-cracking badass in control of the situation.
Those were the surface reasons I liked the character, but there was also the physical aesthetic and messaging behind it: Spidey isn’t jacked. I admired how a skinny teenager was so powerful and strong. Typically, super-strength heroes have giant, nuclear-roided muscles bubbling out of their bodies, but Spidey has super strength while maintaining the swimmer’s build I always wanted. I actively avoided an overly muscular build because I thought it looked like you were trying way too hard and still carry that bias.
I never liked peacocking physical strength. I liked stealth strength, which I gained by accident from being an avid swimmer as a kid. Swimming built my core, making me stronger than I looked. I could lift objects and my own body weight with ease despite not having bulging biceps.
Swimming and general Spidey-style gymnastic athletics (climbing, crawling, twist-wiggling) developed my back and shoulder muscles, giving me a solid but stealthy strength. It was like carrying Japanese katanas on my back rather than wielding a sword visibly. This made me a lot more capable than I looked, and when people were surprised by my strength, it pleased me more than traditional compliments.
So there’s something deeper there that I haven’t fully unpacked I guess but whatever the psychological reason I needed to log this explanation: The Spiderman look has been one that I’ve either consciously or subconsciously looked to maintain through adulthood and am happy with and appreciate.
*This concludes my book report on “super heroes I guess I desire to look like or whatever*
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