There is nothing you can do to prepare yourself for when this sick beard grows in

Don’t tell anyone, but I totally cheated for this years No Shave November and have been cultivating this 5 day head start in order to rock the competition. I figured I better start practicing looking mysterious and thoughtful so I have some experience when the time is right to start channeling the full power of this thing. Don’t worry – I pledge to use my awesome-beard powers a minimum of 40% for Good.