4 years ago I made a Myspace.com profile cuz people told me to. I was on two other social networking sites before that, that are now both defunct, and didn’t put much effort into the whole thing.
Now however… times have changed. and its time to update my Myspace profile for the first time. and that means removing, but preserving here, the original text that built my nothing page into one that has 7 thousand people, fakers and crappy bands on its “friends” list.
The “About Me” shown below is clearly no longer fit for the current state of my profile or for anyone’s profile who’s not a douchebag. in fact i had forgotten it was there and now it explains a lot of creepy ass messages i’ve gotten over the years. the reasoning behind it was that when myspace first started, it hadn’t yet adopted the illusion of being a legit friend networking site (like Facebook) and was more openly just a shallow self promo platform. SO, in that context, what you see below was a natural transition from the other “rate me” sites i was on just to plug richardland.com links (which myspace now blocks as spam). here is the original “About Me”, with a point by point analysis on why it had to go:
I havn’t updated this line of text since I made this profile. i rule. .. Speaking of rules, here’s one: *RULE: Only add me to your friends list if you wanna make out with me and/or get naked, rub down in baby oil and wrestle with me. (I follow up on these things, so think carefully before you hit the friend button…) OR if you’re a dude – make sure you’re awesome enough to be Mr Awesome friend-worthy.. ..
-“Haven’t” is missing its “e”. I’m not a grammar nazi, but its kinda lame to have a mistake in your second word introducing yourself.
-the line about not updating the text was added a year after the profiles birth. so. in fact the text was updated since I made the profile.
-as mentioned above, the baby oil thing is funny in its original context and i stand by it. its just that the context changed and its no longer appropriate. in recent years it just attracted creepy bitches to my page that i later had to ax (from my list online. not like O.J.).
-the “friend button”? okay grandpa. time to get off the internet box and take your pills.
-dudes dont add dudes on Myspace anymore unless they’re gay or are real life friends.
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