Today. I melted a Tea Kettle

It doesn’t sound possible, does it? Well apparently it is. Cuz I did it…

I made some spaghetti and served it. Turned the stove back on and put the Winnie the Pooh and friends tea kettle on it. Went to my room just a few yards away from the stove. Ate my spaghetti. It was okay. I didn’t really add enough sauce but I made it work. I go to my tea rack in my room (the space in front of my Disney DVD’s on my bookshelf) and pick out which pod I will partake in when the water is ready and I go over to the computer for a little bit.

An unknown number of minutes pass, and a timer I had set for an ebay auction goes off. It was only set for 10 minutes, but reminds me that even though I haven’t heard the kettle whistle, it should be almost at boiling point and I want some tea.

I walk into the kitchen. and pause…
Between a red burner and a plume of steam, there lays this:

What. the hell?
I go over and turn the stove off and try to move the kettle over to the sink. It won’t budge. The bottom of the mother effing tea kettle is welded stuck to the mother effing stove….

I go back in my room and just look at it. Looking around for my anti-heat sucking ray? my cold gun that I saved from the time I defeated Mr Freeze? I don’t know. I just did one of those blank look-arounds expecting the right tool to fix it would present itself.

When it didn’t, I went back into the kitchen. My aunt enters. Still confused at WTF could went wrong here, I ask her “um. *points* what happened?”, which in retrospect is kinda funny since she was looking at it for the first time and gave me a “how the eff would I know?” type look.

We went through the attempt to remove it again and started hearing cracks. Uh Oh… So we go over to the living room and watch it just in case it friggin explodes.

It didn’t. But the crack sounds kept coming and we still didn’t know what happened. There wasn’t a fire extinguisher handy and we thought putting water on it would crack the stove more due to the sudden heat change so we just waited it out………

A few minutes later, before I lifted the still hot kettle and put it in the sink, I was able to inspect it. The bottom had melted and the steam frigging burnt off the plastic top on the spout, sending the whistler down to melt on the stove top, which also subsequently chipped and cracked (irreparably) from the massive heat.

But WHY?? Is this not freakin ridiculous?
Think about this here… Putting aside my full admission that this would have been avoided if I was monitoring the stove the whole time – isn’t this retardedly unexpected?

Is this due to a faulty product? Its somewhat old, given to my aunt by her daughters over a decade ago, but that shouldn’t matter, right?

Sure I maybe should have been monitoring it, but really? Should I have? It’s a freakin tea kettle. One of few products made with an alarm system precisely so you DON’T have to monitor it.

Is this a fault of the ancient stove top in this house? Could a fuse have broken that directs more than normal heat to it?

SOMETHING is not friggin right.

Oh, and that ebay auction I set the timer for? I lost it. But it’s just as well, cuz now I have to use the money to bid on something else in a different auction…