Vitamin “D” is for “dudes that want eachother”

Via the Facebookz: One of those super weird “uh…1-why did this happen? and 2- why are you sharing this on your blog, you friggin weirdo?” moments that makes life worth living.  What started out as a medical discussion was quickly slice and diced down to homoerotic love confessions (*Not by me. I was the slicer. Not the confessor).

This gay dude Tony works at a tanning salon and posted a promo, which got a scolding from “Nurse Justin” (another sexual of the homo variety) about how bad it is and a dispute over Vitamin D broke out after Tony (correctly) noted that most people don’t get enough and you can get a healthy dose (along with an unhealthy chance of cancer) of it in his workplace’s tanning beds and Justin went on and on about how you can overdose on Vitamin D and die, which is also correct but irrelevant. There was a heavy degree of flirt-teasing going on and it became obvious that a straight dude needed to come point it out along with laying some truth-smack on Vitamin D. Except… Tony deleted the thread after it got too hot RIGHT as I posted the following response, so it gave me an error message. Since I had already typed it, I scolded him for deleting and then pasted the comment on his wall and the following exchange came of it:

Richard Bushnell
where the hell is this anti-VD (oh wait, that sounds bad – okay: “anti-VITAMIN D”) garbage com…ing from? Vit D is the one vitamin people are most deficient in. even studies that have said the effectiveness of multivitamin pills are basically nothing still conclude that vit D should be taken by most as a separate supplement.

Until a softer tone is taken, though must stay away from Justin, Tony. i’ll not have you rewarding such militant-flirting tactics. teach em they’ll get more flies with honey than with vinegar.

Justin Equality Michael Heilig-Palin
Vitamin D isn’t a Vitamin. Vitamin D is a hormone. It assists the body in use of calcium in conjunction with Phosphorus. If you don’t have enough Phosphorus the D is rendered Useless and deposed of in the Liver. Too much D, in any case, can …cause a state of Hypocalcemia along with other issues. It also causes kidney damage and other tissue damages. Have a look here http://books.nap.edu/openbook.php?record_id=13050&page=939

Case studies.

Anyway I am NOT flirting on Tony! He is WAY WAY WAY too young for me! I was just being funny.

Richard Bushnell
I like the mini-documentary on Vitamin D like it has anything to do with anything. Guess what? water isnt really water. Its hydrogen and oxygen and if you overdose on it you can damage your brain or die. So what? none of that changes the fact that most people dont drink enough of it just like none of your “look how much I know about Vitamin D” posturing changes that most people dont get enough.

Tony’s not too young for you. You were being funny in the sense of “nah lol. im just playin.. unless…? lol nah.. just playin… well unless you… you wanna maybe? – lol, nah..”. we all know how it works.

Justin Equality Michael Heilig-Palin
Oh haha no no. Thats not my thing. Im playful but its really not my thing. I think Tony knows that. 😛 silly boys

Richard Bushnell
He doesn’t and you want him. quit insulting my boy by saying you dont totally think HE’S the real Vitamin D-[licious].

Justin Equality Michael Heilig-Palin
LMAO I’m not insulting him. Im just not trying to have someone make things appear to be what they are not.

Richard Bushnell
Okay, so you wanna jump him, but you weren’t TRYING to in that specific instance so thats what you took issue with? i’ll accept that as an answer.

Justin Equality Michael Heilig-Palin
haha. ur persistent so Im gonna stop debating you and leave it at.. I do not want tony as anything more than a platonic FB friend. I have no sexual or romantic desires to him at all, even a little, what-so-ever. I have never even met the kid. Thank You

Richard Bushnell
dislike

UNLESS: explanation B is that Justin thinks im co-flirting and he’s lying about his attraction to T-bone so as not to create conflict. that would be okay. i’m gonna go with that.

Justin Equality Michael Heilig-Palin
LMAO dont be so intent on me sleeping with someone and you wont have anything to dislike! Buahahaaa

Richard Bushnell
not sleeping with. no one said sleeping with. DESIRE TO sleep with is whats at issue. i want everyone to wanna get all up in this Keen-lime-pie over here. not actually DO it. gross.

Justin Equality Michael Heilig-Palin
oh wow… co-flirting??

Richard Bushnell
gawd. just make me happy already and say youd totally pogo TeenKeen and we’ll all accept the admission as not being a contractual obligation or message of intent: just desire – or not even desire, just “id hit it”-dom. i will not rest till this has happened. and i have coffee.

Justin Equality Michael Heilig-Palin
LMAO well as restless as you may be… I dont desire to pogo anyone’s stick. sorry :-/ Its not just tony… Im just into getting ith any guy at all at this time… Does that appease you oh master? lmao

Richard Bushnell
dammit. I was SO ready to be all over that “just not into anyone right now” BS till you played on my narcissism and called me master. i dont even remember what i was talking about now. shit.

Tony
Richard. I never said i was unionizing with anyone. I finally decided I should at least get to say something. Tanning Is Good For You In MANY Ways, But Can Lead To VERY FEW Side Effects. The Pros Outweigh The Cons. That was the main argument. That Is All. I Win. And I Am Not Sleeping, Unionizing, and/or Flirting with ANYONE!

Richard Bushnell
I didnt say you had to. duh. just that Justin had to want to. keep up.

Tony
?”Tony can make sweet love with Jusin now”??!!!!!!??

Richard Bushnell
That is me allowing it since before I said you werent allowed to. duh. I didnt say you HAD to. I said that I lifted the ban I previously put on it. gawd.

Tony
Very Well.

Justin Equality Michael Heilig-Palin
Oh Ok fine… Tony get your ass over here… Bring Lube, rubbers, and some barry white… That way these fuckers will be silent… Hell we can even pop some vitamin d to get in the mood!

Richard Bushnell
I Win!

UPDATE: 1 year after this post, Tony had deleted me and Justin friended me both on bizarrely unrelated circumstances that this post wouldn’t be complete without making note of.