Unpopular opinion: lying to people by telling them that just existing means they are attractive doesn’t help them improve and by all accountable observation shows, in most cases doesn’t even help them feel better about themselves – so… we shouldn’t be doing it. (that last part is the unpopular opinion. what lead up to it is just reality).
We are all valuable. worthwhile. worthy of love. deserving of happiness.
We are not all attractive to others and there is little to no value in pretending otherwise.
I said so on a Facebook group thread with one of these meme’s and predictably got a lot of what is defined as “cyber bullying” and personal attacks amidst the other more moderate pushback.
To recap the thread for posterity:
- -The original post says “everyone is attractive”;
- -I comment that since that’s not actually true, there are better ways to express that everyone has value than by using a falsehood about attraction as a euphemism for worth;
- -An angry male – we’ll call him Kyle M, repeats my comment that everyone has value but says that the “everyone is attractive” part isn’t supposed to be literal (huh?);
- -I reply that I know, & repeat my original point that the same sentiment is better expressed without the “it doesn’t mean what it says, it means something else” aspect;
- -Kyle M apologizes, saying that he interprets what some people say depending on what they look like (because his initial response included dismissal of my comment because I’m classically attractive);
- -I commend the admission;
- -Kyle M does not like this turn of events and says that’s actually not what he meant to say but repeats in longer form that the “everyone is attractive” message is meant to mean something different than that phrase;
- -I remind that I know that many feel that way, and repeat the still-ignored thesis of my original comment;
- -Kyle M repeats that the post doesn’t mean what the words in it say – it means what we both previously acknowledged as its intent (about inherent value and not actually attraction level).
- -Kyle M ends by using the “I’m too busy to comment further” trope.
So what does this exchange illuminate?
I think Kyle M represents a lot of people in their desire to be called attractive despite a wink and a nod that they know they aren’t really. I’m not sure why this is. We used to use the word “beautiful” for this because it could mean internal beauty (whatever that is. #gorgeousguts trope?) and there is literally an existing phrase everyone knows about “beauty [being] in the eye of the beholder”. But we’ve gone a step further here and now everyone has to be sexy but lowkey everyone knows they’re not but it feels nice to say so, so there’s a common understanding among people who don’t want to improve themselves but want to feel like they have that if they collectively just lie to each other about how physically pretty they are then they can continue to flatline in that regard without ever having to confront their own actions because hey – memes and the internet said they’re attractive, and that’s more important than actually… well… attracting people.
I don’t like to acid rain on anyones parade like this, but that’s all really dumb and counterproductive and not worth engaging in. Peace and love <3
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