The Facebook “poke” feature allows you to notify someone on the site that you clicked a button that said “poke [that person]”. When people poke me on Facebook…I poke back. Sometimes they poke me back again… and then I get irritated. Really? wtf. The Facebook poke is just like the real life action in principal – its a nudge to get someone’s attention. Once you have it, you’re supposed to do or say something. Otherwise you’re just doing the digital equivalent to jabbing your index finger into someone and then just awkwardly staring at them when they turn to you.
The first person who began doing this to me a year ago lasted 6 or so back and forth pokings before I threw down and announced that if they wanted to engage in a poke-war, then fine. but know thy enemy. and I will never give up. never. I will “poke back” until the end of time. or until your frustration grows to levels you are unable to handle and force you to admit to a humiliating defeat.
As of now, I am engaged in 4 poke wars. Shocker: all with females. and all who started it, forcing me to bring-it, as they say. Although I understand what a total beefcake I am, these ladies ought know that I am not actually cattle, and thus am not to be mindlessly prodded for fun. So… I must take the fun out of their little game. by cheating.
Cuz little do they know, that I have an “auto-poker” feature installed via a userscript into my browser. So every time I log into Facebook – everyone who has poked me, gets auto-poked back without me doin a damn thing.
One of my recent combatters asked on my wall today what it is they are even doing when they poke me, prompting 2 others to also ask. If you look at Facebook’s FAQ, they’ll tell you its a nonsense feature they added just for fun and that it has no meaning or actual purpose. This may have been the programmers intent, but is obviously false. I can define the Facebook poke for you as:
Poke: noun. Facebook action
“Poking” is a way for people who are too shy or unimaginative to say “hey you! i exist. and im aware that you’re there. so like… ya”. It mainly exists as an ice breaker for people that haven’t had any contact in long periods of time and don’t know exactly what to say to you.
it also means you wanna do me.
So if you poke someone, have a plan B to transition into, or let the poke speak for itself and do not poke-back more than once.
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